CLASSICS REVISITED: Making Changes at Your Own PaceCLASSICS REVISITED: Making Changes at Your Own Pace
Coming Up for Air — Families Speak to Families about Addiction
Laurie McDougall and Kayla Solomon talk about making realistic, small-scale changes as a family member of someone with addiction, stressing self-care and trial-and-error. The conversation focuses on clear, specific goals and gentle shifts that are actually sustainable over time.
28:56•29 May 2026
Making Change Manageable: Small Steps for Families in Addiction Crisis
Episode Overview
- Change works best in small, specific and measurable steps rather than vague, sweeping goals.
- If a new boundary or skill feels unbearably uncomfortable, wait until you’re genuinely ready so you’re more likely to follow through.
- Focus on your own wellbeing – sleep, food, exercise, emotional health – because that is what you bring into every interaction.
- Use trial and error without self-judgement, doing less of what clearly doesn’t work and more of what does.
- Look for tiny adjustments, such as sending food instead of cash, to reduce harm without cutting off support completely.
“There are absolutely no failures. It’s trial and error.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey from the family side of things? This conversation between hosts Laurie McDougall and Kayla Solomon zooms in on what real change actually looks like for loved ones of someone struggling with addiction – and why it rarely fits into a neat 8–12 week “transformation”. Aimed squarely at parents, partners and relatives who feel exhausted, scared and stuck, the episode breaks change down into practical, human-sized steps.
Kayla talks through her model of behaviour change: first spotting what isn’t working, then making a clear decision to change, and finally practising new skills with plenty of “try and fail”. As she puts it, “There are absolutely no failures. It’s trial and error.” Laurie brings this to life with everyday examples, like asking for help around the house.
Instead of vague complaints such as “you never help”, she suggests narrowing things right down: “I need the rubbish out on Thursday night and the lawn mowed.” That way, progress is measurable, rewardable, and much less overwhelming. Self-care isn’t treated as a fluffy extra, either.
Both hosts stress that if you’re sleep-deprived, burnt out, and running on anxiety, “that’s what you’re bringing to the table.” They argue you can’t reasonably ask a loved one to improve their life if you’re unwilling to work on your own. Practical tools like rating different areas of your life on a 1–10 scale and choosing one “middle” area to gently improve make the idea of change feel less terrifying.
The pair also unpack the tricky line between crisis and chronic risk, and how tiny tweaks – like sending food instead of cash – can keep someone safer without fuelling their use. If you’re feeling worn down and impatient for big results, this episode may prompt you to ask: what’s one small, specific change you could make this week that you’re actually willing to stick with?
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