CLASSICS REVISITED: Treatment and Families, Pt. 1CLASSICS REVISITED: Treatment and Families, Pt. 1
Coming Up for Air — Families Speak to Families about Addiction
Laurie, Dominique and Kayla talk about how treatment practices affect families, contrasting punitive "tough love" expectations with the CRAFT focus on connection and realistic boundaries. They discuss relapse, access to care, confidentiality and practical ways families can stay involved without sacrificing respect or compassion.
26:47•3 Apr 2026
Treatment, Tough Love and Staying Connected: Families and CRAFT in Conversation
Episode Overview
- Staying connected to a loved one, with clear boundaries, is central to CRAFT and contrasts with harsh "cut them off" approaches.
- Punitive models that aim to break people down can deepen shame and hopelessness, rather than supporting recovery.
- Relapse or use during treatment can be an opportunity for more work and curiosity, not an automatic reason to expel someone.
- Families can use graded releases of information and careful communication with clinicians to stay involved without breaching privacy.
- Lack of treatment beds and rigid zero-use policies can leave families managing housing crises and complex systems on their own.
“"We talk about substance use disorder, like you've heard the term, the opposite of substance use disorder is connection. So how is cutting off this connection a good thing?"”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation from *Coming Up for Air — Families Speak to Families about Addiction* zooms in on one of the trickiest spots for families: treatment, and what happens around it. Laurie McDougall, Dominique Simone Levine and Kayla Solomon talk frankly about how some treatment programmes still ask families to sign harsh “no contact” contracts or write cutting, shaming letters to their loved one.
As Laurie puts it, this clashes badly with CRAFT, where the message is to stay lovingly connected: "We talk about substance use disorder, like you've heard the term, the opposite of substance use disorder is connection. So how is cutting off this connection a good thing?" The trio contrast punitive, “break-them-down” approaches with a focus on connection, respect, and realistic boundaries.
Kayla explains the difference between healthy limits and rigid rules, summing it up as: based on your loved one’s choices, you’ll make your own choices too – but without dramatic ultimatums. They also tackle treatment “trauma”: being told a loved one will *definitely* relapse if they leave a programme, or being dropped from care after a recurrence.
Dominique highlights how frightening it is for families when a single slip can mean homelessness and lost support, especially with bed shortages and long waits for residential treatment. You’ll hear practical ideas for staying involved without taking over, such as using information-sharing agreements wisely, and how some clinicians – like Kayla – accept private updates from families while still protecting the person’s privacy.
The hosts repeatedly return to one central idea: relapse or struggle can be a chance for deeper work and connection, not automatic catastrophe. If you’ve ever wondered whether to cut off or lean in, or felt torn between “tough love” advice and your own instincts, this episode might help you rethink what support could look like for your family. How could staying connected, yet clear about your limits, change things in your home?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.