CLASSICS REVISITED: CRAFT in Romantic Partnerships, part 2CLASSICS REVISITED: CRAFT in Romantic Partnerships, part 2
Coming Up for Air — Families Speak to Families about Addiction
The hosts talk about using CRAFT in romantic partnerships affected by substance use, focusing on safety, communication, and behaviour rather than the substance itself. They share practical ways partners can change their own responses, set expectations, and allow natural consequences while caring for themselves.
30:16•27 Mar 2026
CRAFT and Love: Setting Boundaries and Staying Safe in Romantic Partnerships
Episode Overview
- Shift the focus from the substance itself to the specific behaviours that harm the relationship.
- Use clear, respectful requests (such as mutual phone tracking) to reduce anxiety and improve trust.
- Prioritise safety around driving by offering rides, using code words, or quietly preventing access to the car.
- Allow natural consequences to unfold, letting your loved one feel the results of their actions without rescuing them.
- Practise communication tools in calm moments so they become second nature when emotions are running high.
“"Focus on the behaviour that happens when they're using, not they're using."”
What drives someone to seek a healthier partnership when addiction is in the mix? This conversation between Dominique Simone Levine, Laurie McDougall, and Kayla Solomon zooms in on romantic relationships where one partner has a substance use disorder, and how CRAFT tools can help shift the dynamic. Rather than hammering on the drinking or drug use itself, the trio focus on behaviour and safety inside the relationship.
You’ll hear practical examples of how to turn fear and panic into clear, respectful requests. One standout example is using phone-tracking apps as a way to ease anxiety about a partner disappearing: as Kayla puts it, knowing where someone is means "you don't have to call ever" and removes a lot of stress for both people. The episode also tackles high‑risk situations like drinking and driving.
Dominique and Laurie talk about options that range from offering no‑questions‑asked lifts and code words, to quietly making the car unusable, and then letting natural consequences play out. A vivid story about a father, his son’s truck, and a late‑night visit from the police shows how safety and accountability can coexist without constant control. A big theme is that change starts with the partner who wants things to be different.
Kayla stresses that "a huge focus needs to be on managing the discomfort" of doing something new. The hosts break down how to practise communication skills in calm moments—writing stock phrases, rehearsing in the mirror, using validation with kids or colleagues—so that these tools are ready when emotions run high. Throughout, they remind listeners to focus on relationship expectations and specific behaviours, rather than demanding instant sobriety. Small shifts, planted like "seeds", can build towards larger change over time.
If you’re in a relationship affected by substance use and wondering what you can realistically ask for, this conversation offers concrete ideas and a bit of humour to help you feel less alone. What’s one small change you’re ready to try first?
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