Connect Before You Correct: Breaking Generational Patterns, with Lacey TezinoConnect Before You Correct: Breaking Generational Patterns, with Lacey Tezino
Hopestream for parenting kids through drug use and addiction
Brenda Zane talks with author and entrepreneur Lacey Tezino about adoption, reunion, grief, and how alcohol shaped – and strained – her family relationships. The conversation highlights why connecting before correcting can transform mother–daughter bonds and help break generational patterns.
59:14•21 May 2026
Connect Before You Correct: Lacey Tezino on Mothers, Daughters and Alcohol
Episode Overview
- Early attachment disruptions, like adoption and a parent’s death, can fuel lifelong struggles with belonging, people-pleasing and substance use.
- Seeing alcohol’s grip on loved ones can be a powerful mirror for reassessing personal drinking and choosing a different path.
- Mother–daughter bonds often lack healing rather than love; many adult daughters feel deeply misunderstood even when mums believe they are close.
- Simple, intentional activities and shared time help build safety so that harder conversations and corrections land better.
- It is possible to repair strained mother–daughter relationships later in life, especially with the support of structured therapy.
“You have to connect before you correct them.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol and rewrite their role as a mum and a daughter at the same time? This conversation between host Brenda Zane and guest Lacey Tezino traces that messy, moving process in real time. Lacey, an author and healthcare tech entrepreneur, grew up adopted, believing her biological mother had died.
At 19, hungover on Mother’s Day, she phoned directory enquiries and heard, for the first time, her mum’s voice: “When she picked up the phone, and I heard her voice for the very first time… and me having to say, I think I’m your daughter, was like… beyond.” That call sparked a decade-long, beautifully complicated relationship that included reconnection, resentment, late-stage cancer, and grief.
Parents listening for help with teens’ substance use will hear plenty that feels familiar: early drinking and drug use as a way to fit in, growing up in a home full of love yet feeling disconnected, and using alcohol to numb pain from attachment wounds and loss. Lacey shares how seeing both biological parents as daily drinkers pushed her to question her own habits and eventually commit to staying alcohol-free, especially as a mum of three.
A major thread is the mother–daughter dynamic. Out of her experience and her book *Therapy After Mom Died*, Lacey has built a therapy-centred programme focused on strengthening that bond. She explains common patterns she sees – daughters feeling unseen while mums are sure they “understand” them, old wounds resurfacing once daughters become mothers themselves – and why small moments of shared time matter.
As one therapist told her, “You have to connect before you correct them.” For parents feeling like they’ve damaged the relationship with their child, Lacey leaves a simple message: “It’s not too late. Repair is possible for you and your daughter.” How might things shift if, just for today, connection came before correction in your own home?
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