Donnie Penix: The Hidden Aftermath of a Fatal ShootingDonnie Penix: The Hidden Aftermath of a Fatal Shooting
Struggle Well Podcast
Retired officer Donnie Penix shares how years of accumulated trauma and a 2016 shooting pushed him to the edge, and how honest support and Struggle Well helped him rebuild. The conversation focuses on police culture, family impact and giving new recruits healthier ways to handle the weight of the job.
40:38•25 Oct 2026
From Overflowing Bucket to New Purpose: Donnie Penix on Trauma After a Police Shooting
Episode Overview
- Trauma in first responders can build slowly over years, like a bucket filling drop by drop, until a single critical incident causes it to overflow.
- Traditional police culture often discouraged talking about emotions, leaving many officers to rely on anger, isolation and suppression to cope.
- A supervisor’s honest acknowledgement that “that shooting messed him up” helped Donnie finally admit he needed meaningful support.
- Finding the right therapist and engaging fully in approaches like EMDR, combined with Struggle Well, gave him practical tools rather than quick fixes.
- Teaching Struggle Well to recruits and officers has given Donnie a renewed sense of purpose, helping the next generation talk openly and seek help earlier.
“The things that I had experienced and dealt with and seen and heard and been a part of just kept that bucket just kept filling and filling and filling until it got to the point where one day I just couldn’t control it anymore.”
He jokes about practical jokes on early ride‑alongs and the fast pace of working one of Charlotte’s most violent districts, but he also admits the cost: “the things that I had experienced and dealt with and seen and heard and been a part of just kept… filling and filling and filling until it got to the point where one day I just couldn’t control it anymore.” That breaking point came on 3 January 2016, during a fatal‑force incident where one of his officers was shot.
Experience the emotional and inspiring tales of recovery through the story of retired law enforcement officer and Struggle Well guide, Donnie Penix. Across three decades in policing, Donnie thought he was handling the job just fine. Although she survived, Donnie’s “bucket” finally overflowed. He describes stuffing everything down, using “fits of rage, anger, depression, isolation” to let off pressure while trying to protect his image as a SWAT sergeant, husband and son following in his father’s footsteps.
Host Britt Myers gently draws out how pride, ego and old‑school police culture kept him silent, and how colleagues and supervisors eventually said aloud what he’d been denying: “I know that shooting messed him up.” From a half‑hearted first go at counselling, through a more honest search for the right therapist, to EMDR and, crucially, the Struggle Well programme, Donnie explains how he moved from barely surviving to finding purpose in helping others.
Now retired, he practises morning gratitude, teaches Struggle Well to recruits and officers, and pushes his team towards healthier habits, even saying his proudest legacy is getting his whole squad into classes and watching their lives at home and at work improve. This episode speaks directly to first responders, their families, and anyone who’s been told to “just don’t think about it.” It asks a simple but hard question: what would happen if you finally admitted your bucket is full?
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