EP 138 Becoming The Safe Person Your Child Calls For Help With Kelly KrehbielEP 138 Becoming The Safe Person Your Child Calls For Help With Kelly Krehbiel
Living With Your Child's Addiction
Heather Ross talks with mum Kelly Crable about moving from strict control to compassionate, CRAFT-based support for her son’s substance use. The conversation touches on harm reduction, self-care, relapse, and becoming the safe person a child calls when they’re struggling.
45:17•7 Aug 2026
Becoming the Safe Call: How One Mum Rebuilt Connection with Her Son
Episode Overview
- Rigid control, punishments and constant tracking pushed Kelly’s son into hiding rather than helping him change.
- Prioritising self-care and nervous system regulation allowed Kelly to respond more calmly and support her whole family.
- CRAFT demands practice, including pausing before reacting and using reflective listening to keep communication open.
- Viewing relapse as part of recovery lets parents focus on progress and remain a safe, non-judgemental support.
- Harm reduction and options like ibogaine can be worth researching, as recovery paths differ from person to person.
“Your child watching you fall apart isn't going to help the situation. That is something you can actually do.”
Experience the emotional and inspiring tales of recovery as Heather Ross talks with mum Kelly Crable about shifting from fear and control to calm connection with her son who uses substances. This conversation is aimed squarely at parents who feel they've tried everything and are still lying awake at night, watching location apps and worrying their child might not make it.
Kelly shares how she once believed her job was to "hold the line" with rigid rules, punishments and constant tracking. The result? Her son "retreated and hid" and the family slipped into a long-term stress spiral. She describes chronic anxiety, weight loss and eventually autoimmune illness, saying plainly, "Your child watching you fall apart isn't going to help the situation." That realisation pushed her towards CRAFT, nervous system work, and genuine self-care.
You'll hear how learning CRAFT wasn't just reading a book; it meant practising reflective listening, pausing before reacting, and accepting that relapse is often part of recovery. One powerful moment comes when her son calls to say he’s had a lapse and she responds, "I'm so proud of you for calling me… I recognize that this is new behaviour." That shift from perfection to "progress, not perfection" helped him see her as a safe person rather than a judge.
Kelly and Heather also chat frankly about harm reduction, challenging abstinence-only thinking and the stigma around different recovery paths. Kelly describes her son’s experience with ibogaine treatment and his sense that it gave him his "choice back" by changing how his brain responds to drugs. Throughout, the tone stays warm, practical and non-judgemental, offering concrete ideas for mums and dads who want to stay connected without burning themselves out.
It’s a conversation for anyone asking: how do I support my child and still stay sane? Could becoming a safer, calmer presence be the next right thing for you too?
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