Ep 200. Growing Pains and Honouring Your Truth in Recovery, with Danni CarrEp 200. Growing Pains and Honouring Your Truth in Recovery, with Danni Carr
Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss
Ash Butterss and Danni Carr share a candid conversation about growth in sobriety, from friendship grief and boundaries to retreats, spiritual practice and trusting the flow of life. The discussion centres on honouring your truth, even when it means letting go of people and patterns that no longer fit.
51:02•8 Nov 2026
Growing Pains, Friendship Grief and Honouring Your Truth in Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Growth in recovery often feels uncomfortable and can involve outgrowing old friendships, roles and versions of yourself.
- Notice what is life enhancing versus life depleting to gently shift away from numbing habits and towards nourishing ones.
- When relationships rupture, allow yourself to grieve, work with younger parts of you that feel rejected, and set new energetic boundaries.
- Keep a mental "front row" of people who are loyal and supportive to soften the sting of those who can’t meet the new you.
- Let go of rigid five-year plans and ego-driven metrics; trust that when doors close, new, more aligned opportunities can appear.
“I wish everyone a very slow, long journey of recovery, because we don’t want it to happen all too quickly – that’s too much, too soon.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This conversation between host Ash Butterss and returning guest Danni Carr marks 200 episodes of *Behind The Smile* and digs into the messy, beautiful reality of growing up in sobriety and life. You’ll hear Ash and Danni talk about how personal growth often feels uncomfortable, especially when it means outgrowing old versions of yourself, friendships and family dynamics.
Danni shares her approach to getting out of a rut by "signing up for something" – retreats, trainings, courses – and reframing life into two columns: "life enhancing" and "life depleting". That simple check-in becomes a way to spot when scrolling and Netflix have taken over and it’s time to choose something more nourishing. Friendship grief is a big theme, too. Ash opens up about the pain of losing long-term friends as her boundaries and self-worth have strengthened in recovery.
Danni validates how being shunned can hit deep wounds around belonging, likening it to a form of emotional torture, and offers practices like journalling, somatic work and her "front row" exercise – consciously recalling the people who are truly loyal and supportive. Spiritual growth runs throughout the chat: from Danni’s years of saying "yes" to anything that genuinely resonated, to Ash’s recent holotropic breathwork session that brought tears of joy and a feeling of finally holding herself as a woman.
There’s honest talk about ego, menopause, letting go of five-year plans, and trusting that when one door closes, something better often appears. One of Danni’s most memorable reflections sums up their shared attitude to healing: "I wish everyone a very slow, long journey of recovery." This isn’t about quick fixes; it’s about building a life that feels like yours, honouring your truth, and letting relationships rearrange around the person you’re becoming.
If you’re craving growth but fearful of the discomfort it brings, this warm, funny and honest chat might be the nudge you need to keep choosing yourself. What’s one small, life enhancing step you’re ready to take today?
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