Ep369 – The Guilt of WomanhoodEp369 – The Guilt of Womanhood
Untoxicated Podcast
Matt and Sheri talk about the specific guilt Sheri feels as a woman, especially around caretaking and emotional responsibility. Their conversation connects everyday examples to how gendered conditioning and past alcoholism still affect their relationship today.
1:21:33•12 Oct 2026
The Guilt of Womanhood: Why Sheri Feels Bad When Matt Doesn’t
Episode Overview
- Many women carry a constant, low‑level guilt and sense of obligation that their male partners do not share.
- Girls are often positioned early as calming examples or buffers for boys, reinforcing a lifelong caretaking role.
- Attempts to "protect" a partner from their own guilt can feel helpful, but may also feel patronising if not handled safely.
- Seemingly small domestic choices, like plating late dinners or making extra sandwiches, can reveal deep emotional conditioning.
- Humour and everyday anecdotes can make it easier to talk about painful patterns rooted in addiction and emotional abuse.
“Females are conditioned from early on to soften the blow for men.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This chat between Matt and Sheri Salis takes a sideways route into that question by looking at something surprisingly heavy: the guilt of womanhood.
You’ll hear Sheri talk about feeling guilty over everyday stuff Matt barely registers—things like snapping at him when she’s rushing to get ready for work, whether a late‑night teen has a fresh plate of dinner waiting, or even whether their older cat feels replaced by a younger one. Matt openly admits, "I, Sheri, never feel guilt in the ways that you feel guilt," and uses that contrast to highlight how differently men and women can experience emotional responsibility.
Sheri reflects on how girls are quietly drafted into the role of "boy soother" from a young age, sharing stories about their daughter being seated next to disruptive classmates as the "good example" and how that felt like a burden even in primary school.
At one point she sums it up starkly: "Females are conditioned from early on to soften the blow for men." That line lands especially hard if you’ve ever felt responsible for keeping the peace around someone else’s addiction. The episode mixes humour with serious reflection—there’s banter about horror films, a janky excavator named Rocky, and catnip for "crack cow"—but it always circles back to how guilt, obligation and conditioning shape relationships, especially in homes touched by alcoholism and emotional chaos.
If you’ve ever felt guilty for being tired, for saying no, or for not fixing everything for everyone, this conversation might feel uncomfortably familiar—and oddly reassuring. It quietly raises an important question: how much of what you feel guilty about is actually yours to carry?
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