Episode 171: When Speaking Up Feels Unsafe with LachandraEpisode 171: When Speaking Up Feels Unsafe with Lachandra
The Lilli Bewley Podcast | Self love, Self-Compassion, Trauma, Abuse, Codependency, Relationships
Lilli Bewley coaches Lachandra through a raw conversation about toxic relationships, fear, and the inner child who learned that speaking up was unsafe. The episode focuses on building self-trust and listening to that younger part rather than simply pushing through with courage.
34:50•6 Aug 2026
When Your Voice Feels Unsafe: Lilli Bewley Coaches Lachandra on Fear and Toxic Love
Episode Overview
- Recognise how childhood experiences can create a belief that speaking up is unsafe.
- Notice the "strong, courageous" part of yourself and the fearful inner child, and how often fear is pushed to the backseat.
- Start a dialogue with your younger self through journalling and simple questions about what she needs from you now.
- Reflect on whether the fearful part of you trusts your current choices in partners and relationships.
- Aim for relationships where your voice is genuinely wanted and you feel both seen and heard, rather than overriding your fear to fit in.
“When you're trying to be very courageous and very strong, where does that other part of you that holds fear go?”
Experience the emotional and inspiring tales of recovery as Lilli Bewley coaches Lachandra through a deeply honest conversation about speaking up when it feels unsafe. This live coaching call centres on a familiar pattern for many women: attracting toxic relationships while a younger part of themselves quietly carries fear. Lachandra arrives wanting to "grow, excel in relationships" and understand why she keeps meeting toxic partners and noticing toxicity in herself too.
As she shares stories of bullying, strict parenting, and being physically pushed to the floor by a man when she said no, a core belief emerges – that using her voice can lead to danger. Lilli gently helps her name the two parts within her: the strong, protective adult and the frightened inner child. "When you're trying to be very courageous and very strong, where does that other part of you that holds fear go?" she asks.
Lachandra replies that this fearful part is pushed to "the backseat" while she powers through. Lilli suggests that real change comes not from overriding fear, but from finally listening to it.
You’ll hear Lilli guide Lachandra to check whether that younger part trusts her to choose safe people, and to start a relationship with that inner child through journalling and questions like "What do you need from me today?" The episode speaks directly to women who feel unseen, unheard, or labelled "too much" when they assert themselves.
For anyone who’s tired of repeating painful relationship patterns, this conversation offers a gentle but clear invitation: instead of forcing yourself to be braver, what happens if you actually make space for the scared part of you to be seen and heard? It’s a coaching call that may have you reflecting on your own voice, your own fear, and the possibility of feeling safer in love.
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