Episode 641 Why We Explode: Shame, Hair Disasters & Healing the Heart with Elizabeth “Bizzy” ChanceEpisode 641 Why We Explode: Shame, Hair Disasters & Healing the Heart with Elizabeth “Bizzy” Chance
Busy Living Sober with Host Elizabeth Chance
Elizabeth "Bizzy" Chance shares how a disastrous hair colour exposed deeper shame, guilt and pain beneath the surface. She reflects on faith, powerlessness, family and practical ways to pause, feel and gently let go of old burdens in sobriety.
18:14•19 May 2026
Why We Explode: Hair Chaos, Hidden Shame and Learning to Live in the Light
Episode Overview
- A seemingly trivial trigger (like a bad hair appointment) can expose buried shame, grief and fear.
- Calling yourself the "black sheep" or using harsh inner labels keeps you stuck in low self‑worth.
- Feeling powerless over adult children and loved ones is painful, but trying to control them only adds to the hurt.
- Pausing to breathe, feel your heart, and name what you’re really feeling can stop explosions before they happen.
- Handing shame, remorse and resentment over to a higher power can lighten the emotional load and help you "live in the light."
“"It's not about the hair. It's about the people I have no power over."”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober? Episode 641 of *Busy Living Sober* sits with that question through something surprisingly relatable: a hair disaster. Host Elizabeth "Bizzy" Chance shares how a botched salon visit left her with "47 different colours" on her head, but the story quickly reveals itself to be about shame, old wounds and a heart that still hurts.
As she talks through her anger about her hair, she starts asking, "Why am I so mad? What is really going on inside of me?" From there, she opens up about growing up Catholic, staring at the crucifix as a sensitive child, and carrying "sins" from drinking years between 13 and 37. Even after countless confessions, she admits, "I don't forgive me," describing shame as a heavy backpack she keeps replaying.
This episode speaks directly to anyone in recovery who feels like the black sheep or finds themselves blowing up over something small. Bizzy links those explosions to deeper grief over being powerless, especially around her now‑adult children: "It's not about the hair. It's about the people I have no power over." She describes how those buried feelings leak out as yelling about toast, clothes on the floor or a bad dye job.
You’ll hear her talk about pausing to breathe, feeling her heartbeat, and naming what’s really going on—shame, remorse, fear, missing someone. Faith is central for her: she talks about handing things over to God, carrying a rosary, and reminding herself, "We get to live in the light." The tone stays warm, funny and real, with references to *Arthur*, church handbags and her love of *The Wizard of Oz*.
Anyone juggling sobriety, family, guilt and big feelings will likely recognise themselves here and may be left asking: what am I really screaming about—and am I ready to put some of that backpack down?
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