#797 Brianne Davis Helps A Struggling Paul

#797 Brianne Davis Helps A Struggling Paul

What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This raw, chatty conversation between host Paul Gilmartin and his long-time support group friend and coach, Brianne Davis, gives you a front-row seat to what real emotional support can sound like when someone is in a bad patch. Paul is open about feeling stuck in shame, self-hatred and compulsive habits, describing wanting “oblivion mode” through fantasy, porn, hobbies or sleep.

He worries he’s an “attention whore” and “playing the victim”, yet still chooses to risk sounding messy so others might feel less alone. Anyone who’s ever relapsed, slipped, or just mentally spiralled will likely recognise those “dump truck of shame” moments. Brianne brings both history and honesty. She talks about her past as a sex and love addict who “used to purposely destroy men”, and how she’s spent 17 years working on trauma, inner child work and emotional sobriety.

Her message is blunt but kind: “We can do bad things, but we’re not bad people,” and healing often means learning to live in the “blah” rather than chasing highs or sinking into despair. Across the chat, they unpack mean self-talk, fantasy addiction, the highs of overwork, and what it really means to be “your own effing soulmate”.

Brianne shares practical tools like naming the inner critic, doing somatic work (rage rooms, trauma massage, movement), and using four simple questions to challenge toxic thoughts. Paul brings the vulnerability many people wish they could voice in their own support groups.

If you’ve ever wondered what honest, no-bullshit recovery friendship sounds like—or you’re trying to be kinder to yourself while still stuck in old patterns—this conversation might be exactly the reminder you need that you’re not the only one in the trenches. Where could a bit more self-compassion change the way you move through your hardest days?