ESH: Trey (LGBTQ)ESH: Trey (LGBTQ)
Sober Cast: An (unofficial) Alcoholics Anonymous Podcast AA
Trey, a transgender man sober since 2014, shares his journey through brain injury, heavy drinking, gender transition and family pain into AA-based recovery. He reflects on LGBTQ community, service, and the spiritual and practical tools that help him stay sober and present today.
37:30•16 Apr 2026
Trey’s Story: Sobriety, Gender Identity and Finding Home in AA
Episode Overview
- Alcoholism can hide behind success, travel and constant reinvention until consequences like lost careers and isolation become impossible to ignore.
- AA’s structure and the 12 Steps can offer a new relationship with a higher power, even for those who arrive sceptical or resistant.
- Making amends, including to family members, can shift long-held resentment into compassion and forgiveness.
- LGBTQ-focused AA meetings and conferences can provide vital connection and show that being queer and sober can still be fun and fulfilling.
- Service – from sponsoring others to carrying meetings to remote communities – helps sustain long-term sobriety and a sense of purpose.
“My answer is Alcoholics Anonymous. And I’m not just saying that because I’m speaking in a meeting right now. I’m saying it because it’s the truth.”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction? This talk from the Living Sober Roundup introduces Trey, a transgender man sober since March 2014, who shares candidly about alcohol, identity, and finding a place to belong in AA. You’ll hear how Trey went from “Ashley” – a sporty, aggressive kid nicknamed “Crashly” – to a blackout drinker whose life revolved around alcohol, cigarettes, and constant reinvention.
A traumatic brain injury at 16, years of geographics across states and countries, and feeling out of place even in LGBTQ spaces all set the stage for his bottom: losing yet another career and finding himself drinking with only his beloved dog Jack for company.
Trey describes arriving in AA beaten down, willing to tolerate “an hour a day” of people talking about God, and ending up with a daily relationship with a higher power he “can’t explain, but just feels”.
His humour keeps things light – from being “a man in a sorority” to nearly wanting to scalp tickets for an AA conference – while he talks about serious stuff like long-term therapy, deep amends to his father (completed at the Seattle Zoo), and working the steps around family pain.
He also talks about sobriety within the LGBTQ community: walking in World Pride as part of a huge sober contingent, finding crucial support in queer meetings, and working professionally with gender, sexuality and addictions. Service is a constant thread, whether taking meetings to remote Hawaiian islands or showing up on Zoom during a global crisis. Anyone curious about sobriety, gender identity, or feeling “different” in recovery may recognise themselves in Trey’s story.
Could this be the perspective that helps you see your own journey a little more clearly?
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