Finding Peace As An AdopteeFinding Peace As An Adoptee
A Quest for Well-Being
Psychotherapist and adoptee Lauren C. Williams shares her personal adoption story, discussing trauma, family dynamics, and the ongoing practice of finding peace. She focuses on reframing painful narratives, setting boundaries, and building a chosen family rooted in love rather than biology.
57:03•18 Jul 2026
Finding Peace as an Adoptee: Rewriting the Story of Family and Self-Worth
Episode Overview
- Adoptees often romanticise biological parents, so approaching reunions with low expectations can reduce disappointment and emotional shock.
- Peace is described as a daily practice of staying present and using cognitive tools such as thought-stopping and reframing intrusive thoughts.
- Imposter syndrome and feelings of never being ‘good enough’ are common after trauma, but can be challenged with ongoing self-talk and compassionate perspectives.
- Healthy boundaries, including cutting off abusive parents, are sometimes necessary and need not come with guilt.
- Family can be consciously built through partners, friends, children, community, and pets, rather than being limited to biology.
“You don’t have to settle for what life brought you; you can always change the story and change the ending for you.”
Experience the emotional and inspiring tales of recovery as adoptee and psychotherapist Lauren C. Williams sits down with host Valeria Teles for a heart-on-sleeve conversation about finding peace after a complex start in life. Speaking both as a clinician and as someone who’s “a victim of trauma herself, an adoptee herself,” Lauren shares how adoption can leave deep questions around identity, belonging, and self-worth.
She talks frankly about growing up with an abusive adoptive father, later tracking down her biological family through a forensic genealogist, and why she now urges adoptees to go in with “very low expectations” rather than romanticising their birth parents. You’ll hear Lauren describe peace as “not ruminating about the past, not ruminating about the future,” and as a daily practice rather than a finish line.
She walks through how she uses cognitive behavioural tools like thought-stopping (“Nope, not today, Satan”) and reframing to challenge imposter syndrome and persistent self-doubt, especially common in people with trauma histories. The conversation ranges from attachment issues and adoption myths to spirituality, boundaries, and the courage to walk away from abusive families.
Lauren stresses the importance of creating your own family through loving relationships, friendships, partners, children, and even pets, reminding adoptees that “you don’t have to settle for what life brought you; you can always change the story and change the ending for you.” This one’s especially relatable if you’ve ever struggled with feeling ‘chosen’ yet not quite good enough, or if trauma and addiction have intertwined in your life.
You’ll come away with practical language for reframing painful stories, a kinder lens on birth and adoptive parents, and a renewed sense that peace is possible—one honest thought at a time. So, what story about your past might be ready for a kinder rewrite?
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