Forgiveness, Part 2 (Episode 3 - Archive)Forgiveness, Part 2 (Episode 3 - Archive)
Relational Recovery
Wes Thompson and Austin Hill talk about self-forgiveness, the belief that people can change, and how progress in recovery often comes in small, difficult steps. Their discussion links trauma, shame, and unwanted behaviours, while stressing progress over perfection for those working toward sobriety and healing.
6:34•5 Oct 2026
Forgiveness and Slow Progress: Why Believing You Can Change Matters
Episode Overview
- Self-forgiveness starts with recognising that past actions are not the present reality: "you're not there anymore. You're here."
- Believing that people can change is crucial; without that belief, forgiving yourself becomes extremely difficult.
- Change is incremental and often slow, more like climbing a mountain one step at a time than a single dramatic transformation.
- Progress often looks like two steps forward and one (or even three) steps back, but staying in the fight matters more than perfection.
- False beliefs about being "not any good" can quietly shape behaviour, so shifting focus towards gratitude and present progress is key.
“If we don't believe people can change, then that is a pretty hopeless place to be.”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This conversation from Relational Recovery zooms in on forgiveness, especially the messy business of forgiving yourself. Host Wes Thompson and co-host Austin Hill talk honestly about how past trauma and shame can keep people stuck in old stories, long after the moment has passed. They compare it to trauma work in therapy, where someone might need to be reminded, "you're not there anymore.
You're here." That same grounding shows up in recovery: "I may have done that thing... but I'm not doing, I'm not there anymore." The episode is aimed at people battling unwanted behaviours—especially those who turned to drugs or alcohol as an escape from painful memories and emotions. You'll hear how belief in change is central: if someone can't imagine that people grow, then forgiving themselves feels impossible.
Wes shares from long experience at The Refuge, saying he's "seen myself change in good directions" and watched many others do the same. There’s a strong focus on the idea that change is incremental—"one step at a time up the mountain"—and that perfection is an illusion.
Instead, they urge focusing on progress over perfection, even when life feels like "two steps forward and three steps back." Austin keeps it real by admitting that progress "sucks" sometimes because it's slow and hard to see while you're in it. They also call out those subtle self-attacks and "false beliefs" that whisper someone isn’t any good, not always in words, but in a nagging feeling that things "could have been better" instead of seeing how far they've come.
If you're wrestling with regret, shame, or that stubborn voice saying you’ll never change, this conversation might help you ask a different question: what if you really are making progress, one hard-won step at a time?
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