Forgiveness, Part 2 (Full Episode - Archive)Forgiveness, Part 2 (Full Episode - Archive)
Relational Recovery
Wes Thompson and Austin Hill talk about why forgiving yourself and others can be so difficult, especially in addiction recovery, and link forgiveness to genuine healing. They connect self-forgiveness, God’s love and steady progress, offering practical ways to move away from shame, resentment and self-sabotage.
31:59•1 Oct 2026
Forgiveness and Self-Hatred: How Letting Go Supports Recovery
Episode Overview
- Forgiveness of self and others is described as a key part of healing and moving away from addictive, self-destructive behaviours.
- Refusing to forgive yourself can show up as self-hatred, punishment and the belief that you are unlovable or beyond help.
- A suggested exercise is to imagine how you’d treat a loved one who made the same mistake, then apply that same grace to yourself.
- The hosts stress progress over perfection, emphasising slow, incremental change and refusing to give up even after setbacks.
- Christian teaching about God’s love and forgiveness is used to challenge harsh self-judgement and invite people to put anger and resentment down.
“We tend to focus and gravitate on the gross rather than on the good, but we’ve got to learn to acknowledge the good and not just the gross.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This archived Relational Recovery conversation takes a hard look at one of the toughest parts of getting well: forgiveness – especially forgiving yourself. Hosts Wes Thompson and Austin Hill chat honestly about how shame, self-hatred and perfectionism can quietly fuel addiction.
They talk about the inner script many people know too well: “If people really knew who I was, they wouldn’t love me,” which then leads to trying to earn love through performance, or numbing the pain through substances and destructive behaviours. From a blend of Christian spirituality and psychology, they unpack how forgiveness is deeply linked to healing. Wes points out how refusing to forgive yourself can turn into, “I’ll show you, I’ll hurt me,” and spiral into self-sabotage.
Austin offers a practical exercise: imagine how you’d respond if someone you dearly love made the same mistake you’re beating yourself up over. Would you demand more suffering from them, or want them to heal and move forward? The episode brings in Bible passages such as 1 John 1:9 and the Lord’s Prayer to show how God’s forgiveness and love sit at the core of lasting change.
There’s a clear emphasis on progress over perfection – slow, incremental steps up a lifelong “mountain” rather than one lightning-bolt moment where everything is suddenly fixed. Throughout, the tone stays warm and real, acknowledging how hard this work is while insisting that people can change.
If you’re stuck in resentment, harsh self-judgement or that constant feeling of having to “make up for” your past, this conversation might help you ask a brave question: what would it look like to finally put the anger down – towards others and towards yourself?
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