Happy Joyous and Free episode 7 with English JohnHappy Joyous and Free episode 7 with English John
Recovery Radio Network
English John shares a candid AA talk tracing his journey from suicidal drinking, guilt and chaos to sobriety, family repair and deep gratitude. The story focuses on how making AA central to his life changed how he feels and how he lives.
43:49•7 Oct 2026
English John on Alcohol as a ‘Solution’ and Finding Freedom in AA
Episode Overview
- Alcohol can feel like a powerful short-term fix for shame and guilt, turning what seems intolerable into something that feels manageable.
- Hearing a sponsor say "you never have to feel this way again" can be a turning point that makes AA feel worth trying.
- Making amends is about doing what’s right and becoming free, not about securing the other person’s forgiveness.
- Family life after sobriety can include clear boundaries, shared rituals and consciously choosing not to use children as weapons during divorce.
- Gratitude in recovery can mean being fully present in a moment and at peace with everything that had to happen to create it.
“I don’t drink because it’s a problem, I drink because it’s a solution. If I make Alcoholics Anonymous the most important thing in my life, I’ll never have to feel this way again.”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction? This talk from the Happy Joyous and Free AA group follows English John as he shares a raw, funny and moving account of how alcohol once felt like a solution, and how AA became his way out. You’ll hear John contrast his own drinking with that of his non-alcoholic kids – the four-pack that lasts two weeks versus his own "give me a four-pack, I’ll be back in ten minutes" mentality.
He walks through brutal memories, including the murder of his girlfriend Holly and the crushing guilt that followed, showing how booze briefly made the intolerable feel tolerable. As he puts it, "I don’t drink because it’s a problem, I drink because it’s a solution." The heart of his story is the shift from suicidal drinking to a new life built around AA.
John describes his last night with a bottle of tequila and a drawer full of pills, and how that tequila "saved my life" by knocking him out instead of letting him act on his plan.
The next day, he found himself at an AA meeting, asking for a sponsor and hearing the promise that changed everything: if he made AA important, he’d "never have to feel this way again." From there, you’ll get glimpses of divorce, single parenthood, making amends to his ex-wife and his father after 27 years, and watching his children grow into grounded adults.
Along the way, John mixes sharp humour (chainsaws, naked Barbies and in-bed drinking) with spiritual moments of gratitude, especially when his son simply calls him "dad" in a supermarket. This talk is aimed at anyone who relates to drinking as a way to numb shame, and those curious about how AA sponsorship, amends and service can reshape a life.
If you’re wondering whether change is really possible, John’s story might just give you a new question to ask yourself: what could your life look like if you never had to feel this way again?
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