Healing Sex Addiction: Understanding Intimacy And Sexual Issues With Robert Weiss PhD, LCSWHealing Sex Addiction: Understanding Intimacy And Sexual Issues With Robert Weiss PhD, LCSW
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook talks with Dr Robert Weiss about sex addiction, love addiction and intimacy, linking them to substance recovery and community support. The conversation focuses on how real connection, rather than secrecy and intensity, can support a more stable and satisfying sober life.
48:55•24 Aug 2021
Sex, Love and Sobriety: Dr Robert Weiss on Healing Sex Addiction and Intimacy Issues
Episode Overview
- Sex addiction is defined as ongoing sexual behaviour that causes significant life problems yet continues despite consequences.
- Love addiction focuses on using a partner to fill inner emptiness, rather than truly knowing or caring about the person.
- Substance use often needs to be addressed first, as drugs and alcohol can undermine efforts to change other compulsive behaviours.
- Intimacy is about vulnerability and being known, and can be learned through community, 12-step meetings and practising honest connection.
- Partners of addicts benefit from validation and support, with prodependence framing their commitment as care rather than pathology.
“What does the meeting really do that the alcohol doesn't do? It connects you. It makes you feel a part of something. And we are human. We long for that.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This conversation on **I Love Being Sober** pulls back the curtain on sex addiction and intimacy issues with psychologist and recovering sex addict Dr Robert Weiss, speaking with host Tim Westbrook. You’ll hear Dr Weiss share how his own sexual compulsivity and the HIV/AIDS crisis pushed him into recovery back in 1985 and then into a career treating sex and intimacy disorders.
He explains sex addiction in plain language: a behaviour that wrecks work, health, or relationships, yet still continues. From secret porn at work to prostitution stings and serial affairs, he highlights how sexual behaviour can become just as destructive as drinking or drug use. A big theme is the difference between sex addiction and love addiction. Sex addicts chase body parts and intensity; love addicts use the whole person to plug an inner emptiness.
As Dr Weiss puts it, some people don’t turn to sex for fun, but to escape “a really difficult emotional life”. He also challenges the idea of codependency and talks about **prodependence**, where loved ones of addicts are seen as devoted rather than defective. The episode is especially relevant if you’re sober from alcohol or drugs but suspect another addiction has popped up.
Dr Weiss calls addiction “a game of whack-a-mole” and stresses that substances usually need to be addressed first, while also looking at sex and other behaviours that can trigger relapse. Tim and Dr Weiss also unpack intimacy: being vulnerable, known and emotionally connected, which might happen more in a 12-step coffee chat than in a casual sexual encounter.
They discuss practical ways to build real connection, from meetings to hobbies, emphasising that community can replace the lonely grip of addiction: “What does the meeting really do that the alcohol doesn't do? It connects you.” If you’re curious whether your sexual behaviour—or a partner’s—is crossing the line, why not let this candid conversation be a starting point for reflection and support?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.