How To Avoid A Relapse: Mistake #1 Trying To Stay Clean And Sober On Your OwnHow To Avoid A Relapse: Mistake #1 Trying To Stay Clean And Sober On Your Own
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook talks about why trying to stay sober alone is a common mistake that can lead to relapse, using John’s relapse story and his own experience to stress the value of sponsorship, meetings, and community. The focus stays on practical ways to stay connected and build a stronger first year of sobriety.
19:41•21 Jun 2022
Why Doing Sobriety Alone Can Lead Straight to Relapse
Episode Overview
- Trying to stay clean and sober on your own is highlighted as a major mistake that often leads to relapse.
- Regular connection through meetings, daily contact with a sponsor, and therapy is presented as essential in early recovery.
- Isolation and relying only on one’s own thoughts are described as dangerous for alcoholics and addicts.
- Sponsoring others creates extra accountability and helps deepen understanding of recovery principles.
- Being integrated into a supportive fellowship and staying “in the middle of the herd” is recommended for long-term sobriety.
“Your best thinking got you where you are today. You cannot do this on your own. You must seek help. You must put yourself in the middle of the herd.”
Ever wondered what it takes to actually avoid relapse rather than just hope it doesn’t happen? This instalment of *I Love Being Sober* zooms in on one key mistake Tim Westbrook sees again and again: trying to stay clean and sober entirely on your own. Speaking directly to people in their first year of sobriety, Tim shares the story of John, a long-time AA member who once had over ten years sober and thought he’d "graduated".
John gradually drifted from meetings, stopped calling his sponsor, dropped therapy, and shifted his focus to work and a new relationship. As Tim puts it, "John was listening to John… That’s a dangerous place to live between your own two ears. We need someone else to give us feedback." The isolation ended in a relapse while John was away in Vancouver, quietly hiding bottles in the bin.
You’ll also hear Tim’s own early recovery routine: one or two meetings a day, daily calls with his sponsor, hikes and yoga with people in recovery, and plenty of service work. He stresses that "your best thinking got you where you are today. You cannot do this on your own. You must seek help. You must put yourself in the middle of the herd." A big focus is sponsorship.
Tim explains how sponsoring others adds a powerful layer of accountability and deepens understanding of the steps, calling it the "best way" he knows to stay in the centre of the recovery community rather than on the risky fringes. The tone is straight-talking but hopeful, aimed at anyone who’s clean and sober, struggling, or just considering a change.
If you’ve been wondering whether you really need meetings, sponsors, and a recovery community, this conversation might make you rethink trying to tough it out alone. Who could you bring into your corner today to help you build a kick-ass sober life?
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