How to Heal When Church Hurt Breaks You

How to Heal When Church Hurt Breaks You

How do people find hope in the darkest times? This conversation on The Call with Nancy Sabato sits right in that hard space, where faith and heartbreak collide. Author Brittany Lee Allen shares how three miscarriages in a single year, combined with harsh spiritual judgement, left her feeling crushed not just by grief, but by the very church that should have held her.

Brittany talks honestly about being told she was "too downcast" and that her constant tears in worship proved she lacked spiritual maturity. A pastor even compared her pain to others' and said they had "handled it better". For anyone who's ever cried in a pew and then apologised for it, this story might feel uncomfortably familiar. Yet the conversation doesn't stop at hurt.

Brittany walks through how she began to see tears as something precious to God, pointing to the psalms and the picture of a Father who, as she notes, "keeps [our tears] in his bottle". She reminds listeners that Jesus is described as a "man of sorrows", and that real joy is different from surface-level happiness. You can be broken-hearted and still held securely in God's love.

Nancy and Brittany also tackle common lies many Christians absorb: that depression is a sin, that strong believers must always look cheerful, that asking God for help is somehow less spiritual than quietly saying "your will be done". Instead, Brittany frames lament as a form of worship, a way of saying with your whole heart that "only God can truly heal our hearts".

For anyone carrying church hurt, pregnancy loss, or quiet shame around their emotions, this conversation offers gentle permission to weep and to bring every crack in the heart straight to Jesus. It might leave you asking: what if your tears are actually the place your faith is growing deepest?