How to Repair a Broken Relationship: Rebuilding Trust After You've Hurt Each Other - Ep376How to Repair a Broken Relationship: Rebuilding Trust After You've Hurt Each Other - Ep376
Through a Therapist's Eyes Podcast
Therapists Chris Gazdik and Victoria Pendergrass talk through why relationships break down and outline a practical process for rebuilding trust after mutual hurt. They discuss acknowledgement, validation, accountability, behaviour change and forgiveness, with a focus on when repair is possible and when it may not be safe or helpful.
1:05:55•18 Oct 2026
How to Mend a Broken Relationship and Rebuild Trust After Hurt
Episode Overview
- Relationships usually break down through repeated unresolved hurts and destructive patterns, not a single dramatic event.
- Effective repair starts with clearly acknowledging what happened and validating the other person’s emotional experience without defending or explaining it away.
- Taking accountability means owning your contribution to the hurt, rather than shifting blame or using apologies to justify your behaviour.
- Trust is rebuilt through consistent behavioural change over time, not repeated apologies with no visible difference in actions.
- Forgiveness is framed as letting go of anger for your own sake, and it can include setting boundaries or even maintaining no contact where necessary.
“Relationships don’t collapse because of a disagreement or an event; they really do deteriorate over time when the pain points never get adequately repaired.”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying connected when trust has been shattered? This conversation on Through a Therapist’s Eyes zooms in on exactly that question, with therapist hosts Chris Gazdik and Victoria Pendergrass breaking things down in plain, relatable language. Aimed at couples, families and even colleagues stuck in cycles of hurt, this episode looks at why relationships usually don’t fall apart from a single event, but from “death by a thousand cuts” and unresolved patterns.
Chris and Victoria talk through a simple but demanding repair roadmap: acknowledgement, validation, accountability, behaviour change, and then time and trust. They’re very clear that “relationships don’t collapse because of a disagreement or an event” but because pain points never get “adequately repaired”. You’ll hear them stress the difference between explaining and defending, with Victoria joking that sometimes you just need to “say it and then shut up” instead of adding a “but” that turns an apology into self-justification.
They also tackle common questions head-on: Can you forgive and still maintain no contact? Can trust really return after betrayal? Is an apology helpful if behaviour never changes? Emotionally Focused Therapy, attachment injuries, and Gottman-style “repair attempts” all come up, but in relaxed, everyday terms rather than dry theory.
The tone stays light, with a bit of humour and self-deprecation, yet they repeatedly return to the core message: repair is usually possible, but only if both people lean into honesty, vulnerability and consistent action. If you’re in recovery from alcohol or other addictions and trying to mend the fallout with partners, parents, kids or friends, this episode offers structured steps and honest questions to sit with.
What might change if you focused less on being right, and more on truly understanding the hurt in front of you?
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