October 2026 Month in Review - Ep378October 2026 Month in Review - Ep378
Through a Therapist's Eyes Podcast
Chris Gazdik and Neil Robinson look back over October’s episodes, linking the 80/20 rule to modern relationships, family cut-offs and trust repair. The conversation questions how much happiness anyone can reasonably expect from a partner and outlines practical ways to rebuild connection after hurt.
1:10:11•3 Nov 2026
Relationships, Cut-Offs and the 80/20 Rule: October 2026 Review
Episode Overview
- The Pareto (80/20) principle can help you identify the small number of actions that create most of your results, in work, health and relationships.
- Relying on a romantic relationship to ‘make you happy’ is unrealistic; building internal resilience and self-knowledge is more stable and sustainable.
- Healthy relationships include boundaries, honest conversations and differences, rather than constant comfort or surface-level happiness.
- Therapy buzzwords like “toxic” and “boundaries” can be misused to justify cutting people off instead of doing the uncomfortable work of repair.
- Repairing trust usually requires acknowledgement, validation, personal accountability, genuine behaviour change and time for trust to regrow.
“What are you currently asking your partner to provide that you may be able to develop within yourself?”
What drives someone to seek a life where relationships add to happiness rather than carry the whole weight of it? This October Month in Review pulls together several recent conversations on Through a Therapist’s Eyes and gives you a straight-talking tour of modern connection, disconnection and repair. Chris Gazdik and behind-the-scenes regular Neil Robinson kick things off with a playful but surprisingly rich chat on the Pareto principle, or 80/20 rule.
They link it to everything from work productivity to church giving, healthcare costs and even parenting, asking bluntly: are you part of the 20% creating 80% of the impact in your life, or stuck in the 80% doing the bare 20? From there, the mood shifts into relationships. Chris revisits episode 374’s punchy idea that “relationships won’t make you happy” and unpacks what that really means.
You’ll hear questions like, “Have you ever expected a relationship to create happiness you weren’t experiencing within yourself?” and a practical challenge: “What are you currently asking your partner to provide that you may be able to develop within yourself?” The review then moves into tougher ground: adult children cutting off parents, boundary language being misused (“you’re toxic”, “you triggered me”), and the quiet damage done when people stop doing the hard work of repair.
Chris and Neil stress that there’s a difference between real abuse and everyday emotional discomfort, and they repeatedly come back to the need for internal resilience. The final stretch focuses on rebuilding trust after hurt. They outline a clear repair process – acknowledgement, validation, accountability, behavioural change, then time and trust – and challenge the idea that forgiveness and apology are gifts to the other person rather than relief for yourself.
Throughout, the tone stays conversational, slightly cheeky, but grounded in everyday examples that anyone in recovery, relationships or family conflict will recognise. If you’re wondering whether you’re asking too much of your relationships, or not enough of yourself, this review might be exactly the reality check you need.
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