How To Stay Married (So Far) The 10 Things Women REALLY Want in BED ... but RARELY Say Out LOUD!How To Stay Married (So Far) The 10 Things Women REALLY Want in BED ... but RARELY Say Out LOUD!
How To Stay Married (So Far)
Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley have a candid, often funny conversation about what women say they want in bed but rarely voice, touching on desire, control and everyday affection. The episode questions quick-fix answers to sexual disconnection and highlights how communication and emotional intimacy shape sex in long-term relationships.
48:04•18 Sept 2026
Sex, Secrets and Long-Term Love: Nadia & Mark Talk What Women Really Want in Bed
Episode Overview
- Sex in long-term relationships often feels harder to talk about, even when the emotional bond is strong.
- Many women may want partners to take more initiative in bed while men report wanting the same from women, leaving both sides frustrated.
- Feeling truly desired is closely tied to small, everyday gestures of affection and appreciation, not just the act of sex.
- Attempts to fix a stale sex life with toys or gimmicks can fall flat if underlying communication and connection are missing.
- Open, respectful conversation about sex needs the same care and listening as any other part of a healthy relationship.
“"As soon as I have to instruct something and say, I want this, it then loses its organic passion, true desire."”
Curious about how others manage intimacy and connection over years of marriage? This episode of *How To Stay Married (So Far)* finds Nadia Sawalha and Mark Adderley wrestling with a bold topic: "The 10 Things Women REALLY Want in BED ... but RARELY Say Out LOUD!" – and promptly realising how complicated sex in long‑term relationships actually is.
You’ll hear them start from a light, jokey place (Nadia’s first answer is "a cup of tea and a nice slice of toast") before moving into much deeper territory: control, desire, and how hard it is to talk honestly about sex, even after decades together. One key theme is the pressure many women feel to "direct" sex versus the wish to sometimes let go.
Mark reads from a study about women wanting men to take more initiative, while Nadia points out that men often say they want exactly the same thing – which leaves both sides stuck. A big chunk of the chat focuses on feeling truly desired and how everyday affection plays into that.
Nadia talks about how a simple kiss on the neck, with no expectation attached, can be a "deposit" in the emotional bank, while Mark admits that self‑image and mixed social messages can make men hesitant about showing affection. They also question the quick‑fix promise of sex toys and "fast sex", arguing that passion sits in everyday care, gratitude and communication, not just in bedroom acrobatics.
Along the way, they share honest moments about being busy parents, growing older, and the awkwardness of trying to raise new sexual needs after many years together. The tone swings from very funny to quite raw, all while keeping the focus on mutual respect. If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really want in bed – or wondered why it feels so risky to ask – this frank, messy and very human conversation is likely to hit home.
What unspoken desires might still be shaping your relationship?
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