I Was Divorced 3 Times. Then God Did This.I Was Divorced 3 Times. Then God Did This.
The Call with Nancy Sabato
Tanya James shares how a childhood marked by alcohol-fuelled violence, three divorces, and deep grief intersected with faith, worship, and a renewed sense of purpose. The conversation focuses on hidden abuse, anger towards God, and finding healing through music, generosity, and embracing God’s love.
17:38•24 Aug 2026
From Three Divorces to Reckless Trust: Tanya James on Faith After Abuse and Addiction
Episode Overview
- Childhood environments shaped by addiction and violence can deeply affect education, relationships, and self-worth.
- Abuse often appears in emotional and psychological forms, leaving invisible scars that can be harder to recognise and address.
- Faith may coexist with doubt and anger; processing grief and asking "why" can be part of moving towards peace.
- Creative expression such as worship and songwriting can help turn broken experiences into something life-giving.
- Letting go of shame around divorce and past mistakes allows space to accept God’s love and ongoing purpose for your life.
“He had to tell me that, Tanya, you still have a purpose. You still have a plan. I still have a plan for you.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This episode follows Tanya James as she links childhood chaos, abusive relationships, and deep grief to a long road of faith and healing.
Growing up with an alcoholic, violent father, Tanya describes hiding behind a piano, never inviting friends over, and silently failing at school because, as she says, "your home life will take its effect on everything in your life." By 12, her dad had left for good, her mum attempted suicide, and emotional support vanished.
That unstable start fed into a pattern of relationships: "hurting people hurt people," she explains, recalling being married and divorced twice by 24 and entering a third marriage that turned emotionally abusive. At 25, Tanya says "Jesus got a hold of me," but faith didn't instantly fix the pain.
She stayed in her third marriage for 22 years, believing prayer would change things, only to face escalating abuse, nearly dying in hospital, and then a devastating season where her niece died by suicide and her mother died of cancer. In her words, "I just remember thinking, I don't want to be a Christian anymore.
I don't even know what I believe." The turning point came as God "took the shovel" of old trauma from her hands, restoring her sense of purpose and leading her back to worship. Left alone while her then-husband served in Iraq, Tanya found her voice at the piano, writing an album of scripture-based songs and later connecting with John James of the Newsboys through music.
Together, they stepped into full-time ministry, learning "reckless trust" and becoming "radical givers" even through Covid and financial uncertainty. For anyone wrestling with shame over divorce, abuse, or addiction in the family, Tanya’s reminder lands gently: "You are loved. You are beautiful... start accepting who I am instead of rejecting the thing that God calls loved." If you’ve ever wondered whether your story is too broken, this conversation might make you think again.
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