Jem – How do we balance AA with other commitments?

Jem – How do we balance AA with other commitments?

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when life at home is shouting just as loudly as the meeting schedule? This short SoberQ share from Jem speaks straight to anyone who’s wondered how to give AA the time it deserves without short-changing their family.

Jem, who introduces himself simply as “an alcoholic,” talks about hitting a crossroads where “a lot of my energy and focus was going on AA.” At his men’s home group, there’s a strong emphasis on this question of balance, and he shares how someone pointed out that he needed to treat work and his relationships with the same seriousness as his recovery.

He’s honest about what many in recovery quietly feel: “the home life is where the real work starts with my wife, with my children, to sit still when I’m playing with them.” Meetings, phone calls and program tasks feel easier to him than slowing down to be present at home. For someone who describes himself as “restless, irritable, discontent” and “very self-centred,” making his wife feel like a priority is tough but essential.

Jem talks about learning to “get out of self at home” and be of service, especially with the mundane stuff – dishes, mopping, dressing the kids. His aim isn’t just to tick chores off a list, but to find “a calm enjoyment” in them, rather than rushing through in a quiet rage. He closes with gratitude that his goals now look very different from five or ten years ago when he was drinking.

If you’ve ever felt torn between doing more AA and being there for your family, Jem’s honest, down-to-earth share might feel uncomfortably familiar – and quietly reassuring. How might your recovery change if helping at home became part of your daily programme too?