Jen, part two

Jen, part two

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This instalment of the Untoxicated Podcast shares the second half of Jen’s story, an essay-style episode brought to life by Matt and Sheri Salis that focuses on what it really costs to stay in an alcoholic marriage – and what it costs to leave. Instead of research jargon, you’ll hear a very human rebuttal to old academic advice that families should stay together at all costs.

As Matt reads, he calls out how “an experienced academic can usually design a study to get the results that validate his assertions,” contrasting that with the current view that children mainly need “one stable parent” and genuine safety. Jen’s experience highlights financial control, stalking behaviour and emotional abuse, all wrapped around her husband’s drinking.

You’ll hear about credit card debt she never agreed to, phones and bank accounts shut off in retaliation, even a GPS and listening device hidden in her car. The story captures the moment her fear of staying finally outweighs the fear of going: “She left when the guttural fear of staying was greater than the fear of going.” The episode doesn’t tidy everything up with a neat bow.

Instead, it follows Jen through court battles, recertifying as an occupational therapist, selling the family home and supporting her four boys as they adjust to an actively addicted father. There are flickers of relief, like the judge handing Mark full responsibility for his six-figure credit card debt, and slow, steady healing as Jen’s nervous system calms and her children begin to thrive.

Aimed at partners of drinkers, adult children from alcoholic homes, and anyone weighing the “stay or go” question, this story offers validation more than advice. It ends with a stark line that lingers: for Jen, her marriage to alcoholism “was about marital terrorism.” If you’ve ever wondered whether what you’re living through “counts” as abuse, this one might hit close to home.