Exorcising the “F” Word

Exorcising the “F” Word

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? "Exorcising the 'F' Word" follows Matt as he hops on a plane to be with his mum during surgery, even after she insists, "You don't need to come. I'm not dying." What sounds like a simple family visit becomes a sharp look at priorities, anxiety, and what really matters once alcohol is out of the picture. Matt talks about running his choices through a new filter: what people say on their deathbeds.

He points out that, "Deathbed people long for more time with the people they love. They never long for a little more time to complete a work project," and uses that lens to justify dropping work tasks to sit by his mum’s bedside. There’s guilt, humour and some gentle self-mockery about being the less-than-perfect son and the sibling who usually doesn’t show up. The episode leans into how life after active alcoholism can feel calmer yet more intentional.

Matt reflects on "post-alcoholism recovery growth," describing how time feels "more expansive and tangible and less stressful and terrifying." He compares his old, anxious, frantic self with the way he now coaches high school soccer: less shouting and frenzy, more calm presence that steadies his players. The so‑called "F" word here is "frantic", and Matt owns how often that word fits his past.

From staying up late bingeing Instagram reels and sugar to flailing in his sleep like he’s "wrestled an alligator", he shows that recovery hasn’t made him perfect, but it has made him more aware and able to make "tweaky little adjustments" instead of wild overreactions. This episode suits anyone in recovery—or partnered with someone in recovery—who’s trying to slow down, rethink priorities, and step out of constant panic mode.

It quietly asks: if we’re all, in a way, already on our deathbeds, how do we actually want to spend our limited time?