Listening

Listening

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This Pathway gathering focuses on something deceptively simple that many in recovery struggle with: really being heard and really believing they are loved without conditions.

Wendell, who openly names his own battles with pornography, alcohol, rage, panic and depression, reflects on how easily people add a silent clause to faith: "God loves me, but…" He challenges that idea head-on by comparing God’s love to the way we adore babies and frail elders who "can’t do squat" except exist – yet are cherished anyway. That image lands especially strongly for anyone who’s been taught their value depends on performance, productivity, or staying perfectly sober.

From there, the focus shifts to listening as an act of love. Wendell shares warm and funny stories about his granddaughter Claire and her "whole world" of imagination, showing how deeply he has to lean in to understand her. He contrasts this with how little effort people often put into hearing spouses, friends, or housemates after a long day – a quick "Fine, good" and that’s it.

He suggests that genuine listening means dropping the urge to jump in with advice, a better story, or a clever response. Instead, it’s about asking gentle questions, using "all your spidey senses" – noticing tone, body language and emotion – and letting someone know their inner world matters. This is exactly the kind of listening practised in Pathway small groups, where people share hurts from addiction, toxic relationships, loss and pain.

If you’ve ever felt unseen, or worried you’re talking more than you’re truly hearing others, this gathering offers a down-to-earth challenge: what might change in recovery, family and faith if you listened to people the way you’d listen to a child, a dying parent, or someone speaking their second language?