Loving Those Who Hurt You

Loving Those Who Hurt You

What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery and unhealthy relationships? In this candid episode of *Resilient Truths*, Dr Theresa M Bell talks through a tough question: "Do you keep loving somebody while they're hurting you?" – specifically when that person shows strong narcissistic traits. Speaking from her own experiences, she explains how narcissists often target "the nice person" who gives endlessly, and how that can slide into what she calls suicidal giving rather than healthy, sacrificial love.

She links this to stewardship and self-preservation: if you're exhausted, sleep-deprived and overwhelmed, you're easy prey for someone whose life is "about fulfilling their needs, their wants, their desires." You’ll hear strong faith-based guidance throughout.

Dr Bell repeatedly returns to the idea of going to God first, saying, "In everything you do, seek ye first the kingdom of God." She urges anyone caught in a painful relationship to create space, go no contact if needed, and get quiet enough to hear their own thoughts and God’s direction, rather than a manipulative partner’s voice.

The episode breaks down narcissistic behaviour in concrete terms – from love bombing, lies and financial abuse to soul ties and the risk of domestic violence. Dr Bell doesn’t sugar-coat it: "You cannot create a life with a narcissist and it not be a life where you're always following and pouring into that individual." Yet she balances this with hope, stressing that people can change if they truly want to and that protecting yourself is not a lack of love.

By the end, the message is clear: "You don't have to stay on that cross." You’re urged to practise self-love, pull back from those who drain you, and make room for relationships that honour your worth. If you’ve ever wondered whether loving someone who keeps hurting you is holy or harmful, this episode might be the wake-up call you need.