Loving Those Who Use You

Loving Those Who Use You

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This talk from Resilient Truths zooms in on a different kind of addiction-adjacent struggle: loving people who use you, especially narcissistic partners and family members. Dr Theresa M Bell speaks candidly about narcissistic behaviour, describing people who are "control freaks" and whose "whole lifestyle is a facade." She explains how they crave constant attention, lack lasting remorse, and often live on lies they can barely keep track of.

Her language is plain, direct and sometimes wry, so you’ll feel like you’re sitting across from a no‑nonsense auntie who’s seen a lot and isn’t sugar-coating it. The episode is aimed at those who pour themselves out for others – particularly women – and keep taking back someone who belittles them, cheats, or smears their name.

Dr Bell connects narcissism with trauma, war experiences, sexual abuse, spiritual issues and deep insecurity, stressing the need for proper mental health support: "I'm an advocate for mental health." A major thread is boundaries. She reminds listeners that "forgiveness comes with boundaries" and makes it clear that forgiving someone does not mean being their doormat.

She urges people to be wise stewards of their time, energy and money, to keep proof when dealing with manipulative people, and to walk away or "shake the dust" when a relationship becomes unsafe or soul‑draining. From a faith perspective, she talks about fear of death, repentance, and trusting God rather than controlling others, tying spiritual health to emotional safety.

Narcissists may "thrive off" attention, but she urges her audience to guard their hearts, protect their spirit, and prioritise their own safety and that of their children. If you’re untangling yourself from toxic dynamics while trying to heal, this raw, conversational episode may help you ask: how much of myself am I giving away, and what would it look like to finally step back?