Mess it Up Show 418 - Genteel

Mess it Up Show 418 - Genteel

What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? In this candid instalment of the Mess It Up Podcast, the Bow Tie Guy (Paul) takes a hard look at what it really means to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” from Matthew 5:43–48, and why that matters for anyone in recovery.

You’ll hear Paul contrast a public prayer calling for “overwhelming violence of action” against enemies with Jesus’ radically different call to love, bless, do good, and pray for those who hurt us. He doesn’t gloss over how hard that is; instead, he links it directly to his own story of incarceration, resentment, and learning to pray nightly for the peace, joy and prosperity of people who wished him harm. There’s a mix of humour and honesty too.

Paul jokes about trying to score anniversary ice cream at Baskin-Robbins and being “knee deep in trying to catch up on 50 seasons of Survivor”, then uses those everyday moments to show how love is an action, not a fuzzy feeling. From building a pantry for his kids to serving in recovery ministries, he keeps returning to the idea that blessing others often gives us the freedom we’re desperate for ourselves.

A standout section comes as he describes refusing to “take that poison hoping they die” by holding onto hatred, and instead choosing prayer as a way to soften his own heart, even when the other person never changes. For people in addiction recovery or anyone wrestling with bitterness, this conversation offers a very practical picture of how forgiveness, boundaries, and personal responsibility can sit side by side.

If you’ve ever thought, “Yeah, but you don’t know what they did to me,” this one might gently challenge you to ask a new question: what would it look like to pray for their joy – and your own peace – tonight?