Most of My Anxiety Lived in the FutureMost of My Anxiety Lived in the Future
Sober Friends
Matt J and Steve talk about anxiety, control and the slogan “do the next right thing”, sharing personal stories from sobriety, work and relationships. They outline practical ways to shrink overwhelming problems into small, present-moment actions that support emotional sobriety.
30:43•9 Jun 2026
Most of My Anxiety Lived in the Future: Doing the Next Right Thing
Episode Overview
- Focus on doing the next right thing just for today rather than worrying about staying sober for life.
- Write down what you’re worried about, the outcome you’re trying to control, and one action you can take in the next 15 minutes, then do that.
- Recognise that a first instinctive thought can be alcoholic thinking; pause, check motives and avoid manipulative behaviour.
- Run major decisions by sober peers or a support group to gain perspective and avoid self-centred, impulsive choices.
- Emotional sobriety means trusting that you can handle the next step without knowing the entire path or outcome.
“Most of the anxiety lives in questions three months from now. Most solutions live in the next 15 minutes.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation between Matt J and Steve on Sober Friends circles around one deceptively simple tool: "do the next right thing". Aimed at people in recovery (especially those in early sobriety who feel swamped by life), the episode blends AA wisdom, personal stories and a bit of light banter.
Matt and Steve talk honestly about how easy it is to freeze when faced with big decisions, especially when alcohol is no longer there to mute the fear. Matt admits that "most of the anxiety lives in questions three months from now. Most solutions live in the next 15 minutes," capturing the core message of focusing on tiny, manageable actions rather than trying to fix your entire life at once.
Steve shares how his “first thought is always an alcoholic thought,” from wanting to bolt from relationships to manipulating people in his long sales career. He contrasts that old mindset with his current practice of pausing, checking his motives and running big decisions by other alcoholics. There’s a powerful story about a divorce he now sees as a deeply self-centred decision he made without that support, a stark reminder of what can happen when big choices are made in isolation.
The tone stays relaxed but honest, with the pair using real-life examples like job changes, marriage boredom and ADHD-fuelled anxiety to show how future-tripping can lead straight back to the bottle. They finish with a practical exercise: write down what you’re worried about, the outcome you’re trying to control, then one action you can take in the next 15 minutes – and just do that.
If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t know the whole path, so I can’t move,” this episode might have you asking: what tiny step could you take today instead of trying to solve everything for life?
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