Practical Ways To Coach Yourself When Your Child Struggles With Alcohol or Drugs, With Cathy CiothPractical Ways To Coach Yourself When Your Child Struggles With Alcohol or Drugs, With Cathy Cioth
Hopestream for parenting kids through drug use and addiction
Brenda Zane and Cathy Cioth talk through real-life crisis moments parents face when their child uses alcohol or drugs, offering concrete self-coaching questions to use instead of reacting on fear. They focus on safety, boundaries, natural consequences and family impact, keeping the emphasis on practical steps parents can actually take.
1:05:31•9 Jul 2026
Self-Coaching for Parents: Staying Calm When Your Child Uses Alcohol or Drugs
Episode Overview
- Start every response by checking safety for yourself and your child, and leave or call for help if there is immediate risk.
- Aim to speak to your child’s heart, not the substance, and remind yourself that the vicious words are driven by drugs, not their true self.
- Let natural consequences happen when possible and ask whether your choices match your values rather than rescuing out of discomfort or guilt.
- Take suicide threats seriously every time and involve emergency services rather than treating them as a bargaining tactic.
- Communicate boundaries and expectations in advance around money, substances, and family events, and give focused attention to siblings and partners who are also affected.
“Spoiler alert, you are never going to win when you're speaking to the substance part of the brain.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between host Brenda Zane and returning guest Cathy Cioth zooms in on the messy, real-life moments parents face when a child is misusing alcohol or drugs – and what you can actually do in those heated seconds.
Instead of theory, you’ll hear very specific scenarios drawn from coaching work and community stories: you confiscate a vape, pills, or alcohol and the house goes from calm to chaos in seconds; your child threatens suicide if you don’t send money; you’re holding firm boundaries and watching brutal natural consequences play out; or you’re debating whether to take a struggling teen or young adult on a family holiday.
Brenda and Cathy share their own missteps and what they wish they’d known, stressing safety as the first question every time: are you safe, and is there an immediate risk to your child or others?
They talk about the difference between “speaking to the substance” and speaking to your child’s heart, with Brenda recalling an interventionist’s warning: “Spoiler alert, you are never going to win when you're speaking to the substance part of the brain.” The episode outlines practical self-coaching questions parents can ask in the moment: does my response match my values? Am I rescuing my child from natural consequences? Am I taking this personally?
Have I clearly communicated boundaries around holidays, money, or substance use in the home? There’s also honest discussion about the impact on siblings and partners, and small, realistic ways to show them they’re seen and loved. If you’re tired of blowing up, regretting what you said at 3 a.m., and wishing you had a “coach in your back pocket,” this conversation offers grounded, compassionate tools you can start practising right away.
Which self-coaching question do you most need to keep on a sticky note right now?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.