Letting Your Child Struggle and Choosing Love Over Fear, with Dr. Wes RobinsLetting Your Child Struggle and Choosing Love Over Fear, with Dr. Wes Robins
Hopestream for parenting kids through drug use and addiction
Brenda Zane and Dr. Wes Robins talk about letting children struggle, choosing love over fear, and seeing both parent and child as being on a sacred journey. The conversation also touches on therapist burnout, nuanced use of psychedelics in therapy, and why calm presence and self-care matter so much for parents of struggling young people.
1:04:39•28 May 2026
Letting Your Child Struggle: Choosing Love Over Fear with Dr Wes Robins
Episode Overview
- Parents are reminded that their role is to walk beside their child, not fix or rescue them, even when behaviour is scary or chaotic.
- A child’s pain is framed as a portal rather than a problem, and parents are invited to see their own struggle as sacred and worthy of attention too.
- Calm, grounded presence is described as more helpful than intense empathy, with the “flight attendant in turbulence” analogy illustrating nervous system steadiness.
- Dr. Wes contrasts intentional, supported psychedelic-assisted work with casual recreational use, stressing preparation, safety and integration over quick fixes.
- Parents are encouraged to release guilt and shame, focus on self-care, and see their child as an unfolding soul rather than a project to perfect.
“You are not here to fix your child. You are here to walk beside them.”
What drives someone to seek a life with less fixing and more genuine presence as a parent? This conversation between host Brenda Zane and psychotherapist Dr. Wes Robins speaks directly to mums and dads watching their teens or young adults struggle with substances and mental health, and feeling utterly worn out by fear. Dr. Wes shares candidly about running his youth treatment centre, Eternal Strength, the stress that came with it, and the painful decision to close it.
He talks about hitting his own breaking point, sitting for hours in baths to calm his nervous system, and turning to teachers like Eckhart Tolle and A Course in Miracles to rethink ego, identity, and what truly matters. The heart of the episode centres around his handwritten piece, *When the Map Burns: Notes for Parents Walking Through the Fire*. Lines like, “You are not here to fix your child.
You are here to walk beside them,” and “Your child is not broken. They are an unfolding soul,” cut straight to the core of parental guilt and panic. He reminds parents that their child’s pain “is not a problem. It is a portal,” and that parents are on a parallel journey of their own healing. You’ll also hear a grounded discussion about psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. Dr.
Wes explains the difference between intentional, supported work with substances like ketamine, ayahuasca, ibogaine and psilocybin, and a young person casually tripping at a party. Preparation, safety and integration are stressed again and again, without glorifying any substance. Throughout, Brenda keeps bringing the conversation back to real-life parenting moments: the hole punched in a wall, the hospital trips, the years of watching a child suffer.
Together they wrestle with how to choose love over fear, hold firm boundaries, and stay calm like the “flight attendant” during turbulence. If you’re exhausted from trying to fix everything, this episode might help you breathe, soften, and ask: what if presence is enough for today?
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