RE 604: We’re Tired of Poisoning Ourselves

RE 604: We’re Tired of Poisoning Ourselves

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This episode of Recovery Elevator centres on Cricket, a 40-year-old from Chattanooga, Tennessee, whose drinking history was chaotic from the very first sip. She jokes that most of her twenties were "one giant blackout", and describes a pattern of arrests, psychiatric holds and broken relationships that followed her from city to city.

Host Paul Churchill frames the conversation with raw honesty about his own anger at a "broken system" and the recent death of his friend Dan, while repeatedly pulling things back to what each person can control: their own choice to stop "poisoning" themselves with alcohol. He reminds listeners, "You can only change your surroundings so many times before you have to look at yourself and say, ok, the problem isn't the city...

The problem is within me." Cricket shares how every attempt to moderate – "I'll only drink beer", "I'll only drink on weekends" – ended in the same place: blackout drinking and shame. Her turning point came alone in a bathtub, staring at a beer and thinking, "I don't want this life anymore." Nobody was telling her to quit this time; the decision came from inside.

She poured the drink away and started building sobriety one day, sometimes one minute, at a time. She talks about using "play the tape forward" to break through cravings, focusing on the present moment, and treating sobriety as a gift rather than a punishment.

She also shares how staying alcohol-free let her walk through a painful third divorce with clarity instead of chaos, saying it has shown her she is "a very strong and capable woman" and that life without booze has made room for genuine connection and self-respect. If you've ever caught yourself bargaining for "one more" drink, this candid conversation might be the nudge you need to ask: what kind of life do you really want from here?