Restore Relationships, Make Amends, & Set Healthy Boundaries in Recovery (Part 4 Ep. 174)Restore Relationships, Make Amends, & Set Healthy Boundaries in Recovery (Part 4 Ep. 174)
Genuine Life Recovery with Jodie Stevens
Jodie Stevens talks about repairing relationship damage from addiction through genuine amends, biblical forgiveness and strong personal boundaries. She explains how to balance reconciliation, safety and self-respect while protecting sobriety and emotional freedom.
0:00•5 Aug 2025
Making Real Amends, Forgiving Fully and Holding Boundaries in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Real amends involve clear ownership, practical restitution where appropriate, and consistent changed behaviour over time.
- Direct amends are not always safe or wise; seek guidance from trusted supporters before contacting someone you've harmed.
- Forgiveness brings personal freedom and can be done alone, while reconciliation requires two willing people and rebuilt trust.
- Living amends—changing how you live now—can bring healing even when direct contact or reconciliation isn't possible.
- Healthy boundaries protect sobriety and emotional health, allowing care for others without absorbing their denial, manipulation or ongoing chaos.
“"Amends are actions. It's about showing real change, taking real responsibility, making things right as much as we can, and then backing it up with consistent behaviour."”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober? This episode of Genuine Life Recovery with Jodie Stevens zooms in on one of the toughest parts of recovery: facing the wreckage of past relationships and trying to make things right without losing your hard-won sobriety. Speaking from her own long-term sobriety and family experience, Jodie unpacks Steps 8 and 9 of the 12 steps and explains why "amends are actions" rather than just words.
You’ll hear her contrast real amends with "fake amends"—like the person who says, "I'm sorry for anything that I've done that hurts you" and then spends the whole conversation defending themselves. Instead, she stresses clear ownership, practical restitution where possible, and then backing it all up through consistent behaviour. Jodie also explains when *not* to make direct amends, such as with dangerous or highly toxic people, and why wise counsel from sponsors, pastors or therapists is vital before reaching out.
She repeatedly comes back to the idea of "sweeping off our side of the street" so that guilt and shame don’t fuel relapse. A big chunk of the conversation focuses on the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness, she says, is between you and God and "equals freedom", while reconciliation "takes two to tango" and requires honesty, change and time. That distinction can be a relief if you’re dealing with people who won’t admit fault or keep repeating harmful patterns.
Finally, Jodie turns to boundaries, grounding them in biblical passages like Galatians 6 and Proverbs 4:23. She shares how a lack of boundaries left her angry and burnt out, summing it up with, "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." For anyone in early recovery wondering how to repair relationships without sacrificing sobriety, this conversation offers practical language, spiritual framing and a lot of reassurance that you’re allowed to protect your heart.
Who might you need to forgive, amend with, or set a boundary with next?
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