Self Control (Episode 1 - Archive)
Self Control (Episode 1 - Archive)

Relational Recovery

Wes Thompson and Austin Hill talk about self-control in the context of addiction, relationships and Christian faith, focusing on what is and isn’t in a person’s control. They link this perspective to reduced frustration, healthier responses in conflict and a deeper sense of gratitude.

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5:38•27 Apr 2026

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Self-Control, Faith, and Letting Go of What You Can’t Control

Episode Overview

Self-control is central to addiction recovery and relational health, and everyone struggles with it to some degree.
Trying to control people and situations outside your control can lead to significant frustration, anger and emotional exhaustion.
Focusing on what is actually in your control — chiefly yourself — can reshape how you handle conflict and stress.
From a Christian viewpoint, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and a key marker of a healthy, growing believer.
Recognising how little you control can increase gratitude, as many of the best things in life can be seen as gifts rather than achievements.

“Most of the pain and suffering we experience in this life is due to us trying to control things and people that we can't control.”

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This archived first episode of *Relational Recovery* sets the tone by going straight into one of the toughest skills for anyone dealing with addiction or unwanted behaviours: self-control. Host Wes Thompson and co-host Austin Hill chat honestly about how self-control connects to relational health, addiction, and Christian faith.

They name addiction as “self-control off the rails,” but they also point out that self-control is something everyone wrestles with — from road rage to overeating. Rather than treating self-control like pure willpower or white-knuckling, Austin brings the focus back to a simple but challenging question: what is actually in your control? He notes that “we focus a lot on identifying what are the things that are within our control.

And that's actually not very much.” That shift, they suggest, can reduce frustration, anger and exhaustion, especially when you stop trying to control other people. From a Christian perspective, they frame self-control as a fruit of the Spirit and one of the marks of a healthy follower of Christ. For Austin, it’s a daily focus and “one of those top five” traits of a healthy person.

The conversation shows how repeatedly asking “What is in my control in this situation?” can shape how you respond to conflict, triggers and emotional flare-ups. There’s also a gentle twist: recognising what you *can’t* control can actually grow gratitude. Austin shares how the relationship with his wife feels like a gift, saying he “had no control” over the circumstances that brought them together. That sense of gift stands in contrast to the pressure of trying to manage everything.

If you’re wrestling with addiction, relational tension, or just feel worn out from trying to control too much, this episode might help you rethink where your energy goes. What could change if you focused on what’s truly yours to manage?

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