Self Control (Full Episode - Archive)Self Control (Full Episode - Archive)
Relational Recovery
Conversation between Wes Thompson and Austin Hill looking at self-control in addiction recovery through practical habits, belief–behaviour alignment and Christian faith. They reflect on how focusing on what you can control leads to greater freedom and healthier relationships.
29:13•27 Apr 2026
Self-Control, Sandwiches and Sobriety: Small Habits That Change Everything
Episode Overview
- Focus on what is actually within your control, mainly yourself, rather than trying to manage other people or the future.
- Align beliefs and behaviours; ongoing conflict between what you say you value and what you actually do often fuels shame and relapse.
- Use small, consistent habits such as making your bed or keeping your space ordered to train the "muscle" of self-control.
- Accept that changing brain patterns and decision-making takes years, so commit to long-term practice rather than quick fixes.
- View self-control as part of spiritual growth and character, linked to the biblical fruit of the Spirit and a deeper sense of freedom.
“"If you can't master yourself, you will never feel free."”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober? This archived Relational Recovery conversation with Wes Thompson and Austin Hill zeroes in on a surprisingly everyday answer: self-control. Aimed at people wrestling with addiction, unwanted behaviours, or just feeling a bit out of control in life, the chat blends Christian faith, psychology, and down-to-earth examples. Austin starts by pointing out that, "we focus a lot on identifying what are the things that are within our control.
And that's actually not very much." From traffic rage to overeating to relapse, they link many of life's messes to trying to control people and situations instead of ourselves.
Wes shares how anxiety about the future can push people back into using, and explains how self-control starts with belief: "Ultimately, the goal is that we align our beliefs with our behaviors." If someone says they value health but keeps eating "a whole package of donuts", that gap creates shame and frustration. They suggest either adjusting the belief, or changing the behaviour to match it.
The episode also offers simple, practical habits for building self-control, especially in early recovery: making your bed, tidying your space, or even cleaning up an overflowing email inbox. These are framed as small wins that train the "muscle" of self-control, which later helps with bigger moments like conflict, rejection, or triggers. There’s a strong spiritual thread too.
They connect self-control with the biblical "fruit of the Spirit" and the character of Christ, while keeping the tone honest and occasionally light-hearted (sandwiches and tacos get a surprising amount of airtime). One striking line sums it up: "If you can't master yourself, you will never feel free." If you're tired of feeling ruled by impulses, or supporting someone who is, this conversation might prompt you to ask: what small, everyday choices could start shifting things for you?
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