Self harm urges, suicidal thoughts (Sat, 24/10/2026)Self harm urges, suicidal thoughts (Sat, 24/10/2026)
Luke Hand Diary
Luke recounts a very low sober day marked by self-harm urges, suicidal thoughts, and a small but meaningful musical moment that feels significant. He closes by noting one brief interaction he feels grateful for, even while his mood remains at rock bottom.
1:02•31 Oct 2026
A Brutally Honest Low Day: Self-Harm Urges, Suicidal Thoughts and Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Luke rates his mood as one and energy as four, highlighting an extremely low day in sobriety.
- A frustrating encounter at Coles adds to his sense of sadness and annoyance.
- He openly talks about experiencing self-harm urges and suicidal thoughts.
- A meaningful song linked to someone who asked him not to kill himself plays at work, which he sees as possibly a message from a higher power.
- Despite feeling very low, he still records gratitude for seeing someone and having a quick chat.
“Been having self-harm urges and suicidal thoughts.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This diary-style episode offers a brutally honest snapshot of one day in Luke Hand’s sober life, where emotional pain feels almost overwhelming. You’ll hear Luke talking about feeling "really, really sad," describing his mood as a one out of ten and his energy as four.
A small but aggravating moment at Coles, involving what he calls an "entitled ass" going the wrong way through self-checkout, sets the tone for a day that feels heavy and draining. It’s the kind of tiny incident that, on a low day, can tip your mood even further. Luke speaks frankly about "self-harm urges and suicidal thoughts," giving voice to the darker side of recovery that many people struggle to admit out loud.
There’s no sugar-coating here, just the reality of someone facing difficult emotions while staying off alcohol. A powerful moment comes when a song, tied to sentimental memories of someone who previously asked him not to kill himself, plays over the work stereo at the end of his shift. Luke reflects on whether this is "maybe a coincidence or maybe a message from a higher power," leaving space for anyone listening to consider the small signs that sometimes keep them going.
The day winds down with him at home watching YouTube, still feeling low, yet choosing to note one thing he’s grateful for: he "saw [REDACTED] and had a quick chat." It’s a modest moment, but it suggests that even brief human contact can matter on a hard day. This episode may resonate deeply if you’ve had days where staying alive feels like the biggest achievement.
It asks a quiet but vital question: what tiny threads of connection or meaning help you hang on when everything feels dark?
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