Self-Love: Moving From Not Enough To WorthinessSelf-Love: Moving From Not Enough To Worthiness
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook and guest Donnie Starkins talk about self-love, worthiness and accountability in sobriety, then move into a live self-love workshop and guided meditation. The conversation focuses on small daily practices, boundaries and changing the "not enough" story many people carry into recovery.
1:13:34•31 Mar 2026
Self-Love, Accountability and the End of the "Not Enough" Story
Episode Overview
- Self-love is grounded in accountability and keeping promises to yourself, not just external self-care.
- Feelings of "not enough" are common and shared, and the story you tell yourself is the one that matters most.
- Small, achievable daily actions—like making your bed or a short morning routine—can build an unshakable foundation for recovery.
- Clear values make boundaries possible; when actions align with values, shame and guilt ease and decision-making becomes simpler.
- Using mindfulness, breath and simple meditations helps "sharpen the saw" of mind, body and spirit and supports long-term sobriety.
“To me, self-love isn't all this butterflies and rainbows. Accountability is one of the most radical acts of self-love.”
Donnie explains that the core issue underneath addiction often isn’t substances at all, but a deep belief of unworthiness: feeling "not smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough" and thinking that makes you different, when actually "it’s what connects us all." Instead of framing self-love as spa days and rainbows, Donnie calls it out straight: "Accountability is one of the most radical acts of self-love." You’ll hear how breaking promises to yourself—skipping the gym, ignoring morning routines, gossiping—fuels that inner saboteur voice that whispers "you’re not good enough".
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This episode of *I Love Being Sober* leans hard into that question by zooming in on self-love, worthiness, and the "not enough" story that haunts many people in early sobriety. Tim Westbrook sits down with long-time friend and mindfulness coach Donnie Starkins, whose journey from Division I baseball and painkiller addiction to yoga and personal development shapes the whole conversation.
He links this to ideas from *The Four Agreements*, especially being impeccable with your word, both to yourself and others. The episode shifts into a live guided workshop built around the image of "sharpening your saw"—treating your body, mind and spirit as tools that need regular care. Through meditation and reflection, Donnie invites the group to ask what truly calms their mind, strengthens their body and connects their spirit, and to build simple daily practices from those answers.
There’s plenty of real-life humour too, like Tim’s friendly cycling rivalry, showing how doing "the very best" you can matters more than beating someone’s time. Together, they talk about boundaries, shame versus guilt, the power of morning routines, and why asking for help is strength, not weakness. If you’ve ever felt like you’re just not enough, this conversation might be a gentle nudge toward a different story: one where your mess really does become your message.
What small promise could you keep to yourself today?
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