Sending Your Struggling Kid To College, with Cathy CiothSending Your Struggling Kid To College, with Cathy Cioth
Hopestream for parenting kids through drug use and addiction
Brenda Zane and Cathy Cioth talk through the hard realities of sending a teen with substance use or mental health struggles to university, sharing Cathy’s family story and practical options beyond the standard path. The conversation focuses on gut instincts, campus resources, alternative routes, and redefining what success can look like for both parents and kids.
44:01•20 Aug 2026
Should You Send a Struggling Teen to Uni? Brenda and Cathy Share the Hard Truths
Episode Overview
- Trust gut feelings about your child’s readiness for university, even when social pressure and sunk costs push you to send them anyway.
- Contact the university ahead of time to learn about crisis services, recovery communities, and what support is available on campus.
- Put medical waivers and other legal documents in place so you can receive information and act quickly if there is a health emergency.
- Consider alternatives such as community college, gap years, or therapeutic programmes instead of insisting on the traditional 18–22 university route.
- Be clear about what academic performance, employment, or volunteering you expect in exchange for financial support, and prioritise mental health over money already spent.
“I’ll take it any day over a 100% cotton university of wherever sweatshirt.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This conversation zooms in on a very specific question many parents face: do you send a struggling teen or young adult off to university, or hit pause? Host Brenda Zane and frequent co-host Cathy Cioth chat honestly about the messy, unglamorous side of that big college send-off, especially when substance use and mental health issues are already on the radar.
Cathy shares how her son pushed through to graduation, headed to an out-of-state university, then quickly found himself overwhelmed by heavy drinking and widespread drug use on campus. The picture-perfect move-in day, orientation, and college sweatshirt moment turned into police raids in the dorms and frantic late-night calls home.
The episode walks through what parents in similar situations might be weighing: sunk costs of tuition and housing, the intense pressure to keep up with peers, and the deep exhaustion that makes a break from parenting chaos sound irresistible. At the same time, Brenda and Cathy highlight alternatives such as community college close to home, gap years, therapeutic programmes, and recovery or crisis resources offered by universities.
Practical tips come thick and fast: get medical waivers and legal documents signed before your child leaves, contact the university early to understand crisis services and recovery communities, and be clear about what academic performance or effort you’re willing to fund.
They also tackle the heavy grief of missing out on those "normal" milestones, gently reminding parents that life can hold rich, unexpected paths: “I’ll take it any day over a 100% cotton university of wherever sweatshirt.” If you’re staring down move-in day with a knot in your stomach, this conversation may help you ask better questions, trust your gut a bit more, and remember there’s more than one way for your child to build a good life.
What version of success are you really hoping for?
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