SW - Step 4 - 20251026 - practicing radical gratitudeSW - Step 4 - 20251026 - practicing radical gratitude
Love Your Life, with Randy Mermell
Randy Mermell is an international coach, speaker, and podcaster. Randy helps people live happy and purposeful lives. Drawing from his own experience from 20 years of happy marriage, raising two daughters, and his success as an entrepreneur, he has helped others get through all types of professional and personal challenges, including love, marriage, children, jobs, and finding passion in everything we do. With over 28 years of sobriety, and success in his own life overcoming low self-esteem, addictions to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and coffee Randy draws on his real-life experience to lead meditation and recovery retreats internationally.
39:06•9 Nov 2026
Radical Gratitude, Holiday Chaos and the Alcoholic Mind
Episode Overview
- Alcoholism is described as a mental and emotional disease that persists whether drinking or not, with alcohol framed as an ineffective "over-the-counter" treatment.
- Randy presents two options for treating the disease: numbing it with substances or applying the 12 Steps and building a relationship with a higher power.
- Radical gratitude is suggested as a daily practice, with attention to simple gifts like breathing, life itself and imperfect family relationships.
- Step Four helps reveal "twisted relations" and self-centred patterns, especially around family, where domination, dependency and self-pity often show up.
- Approaching holidays as a giver of attention and help, rather than seeking validation or playing the victim, is offered as a way to reduce chaos and increase connection.
“Everything gets better when I practice gratitude. Everything gets worse when I practice fault-finding.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This meeting-style episode of "Love Your Life, with Randy Mermell" drops you straight into a live international 12-step gathering, with Randy framing alcoholism as a daily mental condition rather than just a drinking problem.
Randy explains his experience as "an unsatisfiable, fault-finding, opinionated mind that's always in a hurry, easily frustrated, and can't stand the word no." He talks about being "allergic" to alcohol and other substances, describing how the real pain is mental and emotional, and how the disease insists on being treated — either with substances or with the 12 Steps and a relationship with a higher power.
Against the backdrop of Thanksgiving and Step Four work, the focus shifts to "practicing radical gratitude." Randy jokes that Thanksgiving is "mostly about overeating and family feuds," then turns it into a chance to thank his higher power for everything, from the air he breathes to the imperfect parents who "gave me the gift of life." He contrasts fault-finding with gratitude, noting, "Everything gets better when I practice gratitude.
Everything gets worse when I practice fault-finding." Randy reads from the Twelve and Twelve about "twisted relations" and being "especially stupid and stubborn" with family and friends, and uses vivid stories — including the infamous chainsaw turkey incident — to show how untreated alcoholism turns holiday gatherings into chaos. The humour is light but sharp, keeping things relatable while pointing to the real cost of self-centred fear.
You’ll also hear shares from Holly, Rick, Christine and Lauren, who talk about perfectionism, relapse, self-centred fear, work stress and learning to be of service instead of the victim. The tone is honest, funny and non-judgmental, making this episode ideal if you're grappling with family dynamics, holiday stress or the relentless chatter of an alcoholic mind and want practical spiritual tools like radical gratitude to shift your day.
So, how might your next family gathering feel if you went in as a giver of attention, rather than a collector of grievances?
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