The Committee in Our Head: The Chairperson - FEAR pt1 🏳️🌈 A Queer Recovery Podcast 🎙️The Committee in Our Head: The Chairperson - FEAR pt1 🏳️🌈 A Queer Recovery Podcast 🎙️
At The CCC
Queer hosts at the Castro Country Club talk about fear as the “chairperson” in their heads, sharing personal experiences with anxiety, addiction and early recovery. They mix humour, brain science and candid stories to reflect on how fear shapes behaviour and how community and meetings can help.
30:40•16 Jun 2026
Fear as the Chairperson: Queer Voices Talk Anxiety, Sobriety and That Noisy Inner Committee
Episode Overview
- Fear is framed as the “chairperson” of the inner committee, often motivating many thoughts and actions in recovery.
- Some fear is healthy and protective, but long-term unsafe environments can cause fear and anxiety to become overdeveloped.
- Avoiding situations because of fear or anxiety tends to strengthen those feelings rather than reduce them.
- Substances are often used to escape fear and anxiety, yet they end up increasing distress and blocking emotional healing.
- Meetings and therapeutic support can shift from feeling like a chore to becoming a vital refuge and source of growth.
“Today we're going to be talking about fear. And fear being the chairperson, because I'm sorry, everything is kind of motivated by fear.”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This chat from At The CCC zooms in on fear as the loudest voice in our heads, especially for queer folks in recovery. Anthony, Lewis and producer Jordan sit down at the Castro Country Club in San Francisco and kick off a new series on “the committee in our head”, starting with the chairperson: fear. As Lewis puts it, “today we're going to be talking about fear.
And fear being the chairperson, because I'm sorry, everything is kind of motivated by fear.” You’ll hear them mix sharp recovery wisdom with plenty of playful teasing and Pride-season humour, while still keeping things real about addiction, anxiety, and mental health. Anthony talks about being “in my head” around career and how meetings have shifted from a chore to “a refuge.” Jordan marks 30 days and admits meetings still feel like work, while also considering new support like CoDA.
Lewis opens up about anxiety on planes and how people-pleasing shaped his fear for years. Anthony also breaks down how fear and anxiety show up in the brain, why some fear is healthy (like not walking into traffic), and how overprotective fear can grow when you’ve lived in unsafe or chaotic environments. They talk about using substances to escape fear, only to end up “more fearful of the fear” itself, and how avoidance actually feeds anxiety rather than easing it.
The tone is queer, candid, a bit chaotic and very human – like sitting in on a smart, slightly unfiltered recovery meeting with friends who don’t pretend to have it all figured out. It’s especially relatable if you’re in early recovery or wrestling with anxiety and people-pleasing. So, if fear is the chairperson of your inner committee too, which voice are you ready to turn the volume down on today?
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