The Gift Of Presence (Archive - Full Episode)The Gift Of Presence (Archive - Full Episode)
Relational Recovery
Wes Thompson and Austin Hill talk about why real presence is so central to recovery, relationships, and faith. They share personal stories and practical practices that help someone face their own pain so they can be calmly present with others.
48:39•9 Jun 2026
The Gift of Presence: Why Just Being There Matters in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Being present with others depends on first being honest and present with yourself; discomfort with your own inner life makes it hard to sit with someone else’s pain.
- Masks, shape-shifting, and shallow relationships may feel safe, but they block real connection and keep you from offering your true self to others.
- People in pain often need someone to bear witness, not to fix; calm presence, simple acknowledgement like “this is really hard,” and curiosity can be more helpful than advice.
- Practices such as sensory walks, yoga, deep-breathing prayers, guided meditations, and meditative reading of gospel stories can gently build the capacity to sit in silence and face what surfaces.
- Trust and healing after harm come through consistent, patient presence over time rather than quick fixes or demands to “move on.”
“The greatest gift we can give others is our transformed and transforming presence.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This archived conversation from Relational Recovery zooms in on something deceptively simple and surprisingly hard: being truly present. Host Wes Thompson, joined by co-host Austin Hill, talks through what they’ve been learning at The Refuge about “presence” as a core cultural value.
Drawing from mentors Rich Plass and Jim Cofield, they repeat a line that shapes the whole chat: “the greatest gift we can give others is our transformed and transforming presence.” From there, they link presence directly to recovery, relationships, and spiritual growth. You’ll hear them unpack the everyday ways people avoid presence—wearing masks, shape-shifting to fit in, filling life with noise, or trying to fix everyone else’s problems to dodge their own pain.
Wes puts it bluntly: “If I’m not comfortable with myself, chances are I’m going to struggle with being present with other people.” Austin connects this to addiction, noting how shallow relationships and constant busyness can keep someone from facing their own hurt. They also talk honestly about grief and suffering, sharing personal stories of funerals, loss, and the awkward things people say when they can’t handle pain.
One powerful example is Wes remembering a friend who simply looked at him and said, “This is really hard.” No fixes, no spiritual spin—just calm presence. For anyone in recovery, this episode offers practical tools rather than airy ideas. Wes and Austin suggest concrete practices like sensory walks, yoga, breath prayers, guided meditations, and meditative scripture reading as ways to build the capacity to sit with your own pain so you can sit with someone else’s.
Their angle is deeply Christian yet very human: as Austin says, “God wants us to know who we are because he hides himself in us.” If you’ve ever felt the urge to rush in and fix everything instead of just being there, this conversation might nudge you to ask: what would it look like to give someone the gift of your calm, honest presence today?
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