Why Faith Matters in Addiction Recovery with Dr. Bruce Chalmer (Part 1)Why Faith Matters in Addiction Recovery with Dr. Bruce Chalmer (Part 1)
Retrieving Sanity
Host Keegan Reed and Dr. Bruce Chalmer talk about how faith, meaning and messy emotions shape addiction recovery and relationships. The discussion touches on trauma, somatic awareness and why numbing feelings once made sense but no longer has to be the answer.
28:32•8 May 2026
Why Faith, Feelings and Messy Relationships Matter in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Faith is described as finding meaning in messiness, not controlling outcomes, which can ease the panic of uncertainty in recovery.
- The Passion Paradox shows how our need for stability can clash with our need for intimacy, yet both are vital for healthy relationships.
- Addiction is framed as a logical attempt to numb overwhelming emotions, rather than evidence that someone is crazy.
- Reconnecting with the body and tolerating strong feelings is key, especially after years of dissociation or substance use.
- Allowing emotional release, such as crying, can feel terrifying at first but often brings relief and a sense of safety over time.
“People get into substances for good reasons… to dampen down incredibly painful emotions.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between host Keegan Reed and psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer leans straight into that question by linking faith, emotions and relationships with addiction recovery. A key idea here is Chalmer’s “Passion Paradox” – the clash between our need for “stability and intimacy” in relationships. He explains that what keeps things safe can work against what keeps them feeling alive, and yet both are essential.
For anyone whose relationships got messy during addiction, this tension will feel very familiar. Faith is framed less as religion and more as how you make sense of chaos.
As Chalmer puts it, faith is “recognizing that, yeah, even as we face death… there’s something beautiful about that.” Keegan connects this to his own recovery, realising that even when he was in his addiction, there was often a quiet belief that “this is going to work out somehow,” even if the facts didn’t look that way. The episode also looks at how trauma and fear show up in the body.
Chalmer explains that people often numb out to survive – through dissociation, substances, or shutting down feelings: “People get into substances for good reasons… to dampen down incredibly painful emotions.” Keegan relates by talking about stuffing down a “big, ugly cry” because strong emotions used to send him straight to alcohol. You’ll hear how learning to feel the body again – through practices that reconnect you with physical sensations – can be a crucial part of healing.
The pair talk about boundaries, the terror of rocking the boat in relationships, and why crying might feel like falling into a hole you’ll never climb out of, yet often leaves you lighter. If you’ve ever wondered whether your emotional reactions mean you’re “crazy”, this chat suggests something different: what if your feelings actually make perfect sense, and the next step is deciding what you want to do with them?
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