Trust Is Actually Control? : Rev. Rachel Harrison on Codependency, Addiction & Letting GoTrust Is Actually Control? : Rev. Rachel Harrison on Codependency, Addiction & Letting Go
Sober on Purpose
Rev. Rachel Harrison talks with Tanya Gioia about codependency, control and faith, sharing her journey from alcohol use and family addiction into spiritual recovery. The conversation centres on trust, safety, and how women can stop self-abandoning and begin caring for themselves while still loving their families.
50:56•10 Jul 2026
Trust, Control and Letting Go: Rev. Rachel Harrison on Codependency and Faith
Episode Overview
- Trust placed in another person’s behaviour can become a subtle form of control; trusting God and yourself brings more real safety.
- Self-abandonment often hides beneath "good" roles like mother and wife, showing up as resentment, people-pleasing and fear-driven caretaking.
- Alcohol may be a symptom rather than the core issue, masking unprocessed emotions and deep patterns of trying to fix others.
- Letting loved ones experience their own consequences respects their journey and can reduce co-suffering and burnout for carers.
- Spiritual frameworks such as Al-Anon, the 12 steps and the Recover Your Soul process can gently guide women from fear and control towards compassion and honesty.
“Trust is actually another level of control.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation between host Tanya Gioia and Rev. Rachel Harrison gets right to the messy heart of codependency, control, and faith in the middle of addiction.
Rachel shares how growing up around addictive behaviours and then marrying an alcoholic left her trapped in classic people-pleasing patterns: "My number one thing is if you're okay, I can be okay." She explains how alcohol was never really the core problem, but a way to blunt feelings while she tried to fix everyone around her — a strategy that eventually crumbled under the weight of her husband’s addiction and her sons’ struggles.
You’ll hear how a “moment of grace” in 2018 led Rachel into her own recovery, Al‑Anon, ordination, and her nine-step Recover Your Soul process. She talks about self-abandonment, resentment over everyday tasks, and the subtle shift from acting like a resentful Cinderella to choosing caring actions from a place of wholeness.
One of the boldest themes is her reframe of trust: "Trust is actually another level of control." Instead of demanding, "I need to trust that you won’t drink again," Rachel points to trusting God and your own inner guidance, accepting that you’re powerless over other people’s choices. Safety, she argues, starts in your relationship with God and yourself, not in controlling your partner’s behaviour.
For mums and partners living with addiction chaos, the episode offers a faith-based lens on boundaries, co-suffering, and letting loved ones face their own lessons. Tanya and Rachel blend Christian language, spiritual coaching ideas, and a bit of humour around nails-and-hair "self-care" to keep it real. If you’re tired of carrying someone else’s addiction and wondering whether trust, safety, and love can look different, this one might be the gentle nudge you’ve been waiting for.
What would change if you stopped trying to fix everyone and started truly caring for yourself?
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