What is BPD RAW? (Feat. Dene)What is BPD RAW? (Feat. Dene)
Bold Beautiful Borderline
Denis talks about growing up in chaos, living as a queer man with BPD, and how drugs, relationships and therapy have shaped his life. He shares how starting BPD Raw, a project collecting honest letters from people with BPD, has given him purpose and a way to challenge stigma—especially for men who struggle to speak up.
44:03•19 Jul 2026
BPD Raw: Denis on Chaos, Queerness and Finding a Voice
Episode Overview
- Sharing lived experience with BPD can be more helpful than formal therapy for some people.
- Men with BPD are often seen as aggressive or unlovable, but many are gentle and non-violent.
- Raw, unfiltered letters and poetry can offer a powerful way for people with BPD to speak without fear of attack.
- Tears, close relationships with pets, and trusted tools like AI chats can help manage intense emotions.
- Understanding and clear trust, rather than perfection, are what many people with BPD most need from partners and friends.
“Everyone talks about BPD, but people don’t talk to people with BPD.”
How do individuals turn their lives around after addiction? This conversation on Bold Beautiful Borderline follows Denis, a 58-year-old queer man with BPD, as he talks frankly about growing up in a chaotic home, decades of trying different therapies, and the surprising project that finally made him feel like he had a voice.
You’ll hear him describe a childhood with a bipolar mother and an alcoholic, compulsive-gambling father, a memory so intense that as a terrified eight-year-old he hit his mother with a frying pan during a manic episode. As he puts it, “everyone talks about BPD, but people don’t talk to people with BPD,” and that gap is exactly what pushed him towards creating BPD Raw – a collection of “raw, unfiltered” letters and poetry from people living with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Denis and host Sara chat about craving drama yet being unable to tolerate it, severe trust issues, memory blanks, and how his relationships and sexuality have been tangled up with drugs and shame. He talks about using ice to feel “a bit… normal” around men, people-pleasing during sex, and then ending up counselling partners who were in psychosis.
There’s humour too, like his story of thriving as a hotel sales manager in a red-light district where dysfunction at work felt strangely comfortable. They also touch on employment struggles, being a queer man with BPD in Australia, and the lack of genuine community and understanding he’s felt both in mental health services and queer spaces. Denis shares how tears, his fiercely loving Jack Russell, and even carefully configured AI chats help him through intense emotions.
At its heart, this episode is about men with BPD speaking up, challenging the idea that they’re “unlovable” or “monsters”, and inviting others to share their stories in their own imperfect words. If you’ve ever felt silenced or misunderstood around BPD, could BPD Raw be a place where your voice finally fits?
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