Compassion For The Parts Of Me (Feat. Emily)
Compassion For The Parts Of Me (Feat. Emily)

Bold Beautiful Borderline

Emily, a therapist with BPD and ADHD, talks about her late diagnoses, deep therapeutic work with her inner parts, and the shift from shame to self‑acceptance. She shares how this has reshaped her relationships with family, partners, and clients while still living with intense emotions.

HonestAuthenticInspiringSupportiveHealing

51:21•12 Jul 2026

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Learning to Love Every Part: Emily on BPD, ADHD and Self‑Acceptance

Episode Overview

Intense childhood experiences of abandonment and trauma can shape BPD patterns but can be understood and cared for through parts work.
DBT, EMDR and Internal Family Systems approaches helped Emily build compassion for her younger, fearful self and reduce shame.
An “apology tour” allowed her to see her role in past conflict, offer repair, and recognise that not everyone was actually abandoning her.
Openly sharing a BPD diagnosis with clients can reduce stigma and deepen clinical work, though it may feel risky with professional peers.
Healthy, secure relationships are possible with BPD, especially when partners learn the same skills and language, such as DBT.

“You’re not broken, nothing’s wrong with you, your brain is so freaking intelligent, it’s figured out how to stay safe.”

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey and wider mental health? This conversation centres on Emily, a therapist living with both ADHD and Borderline Personality Disorder, who’s done intense work to understand and care for the different “parts” of herself. You’ll hear Emily describe the shock of her late diagnosis and the way TikTok clips, DBT skills, ADHD medication, EMDR and parts work suddenly made her past make sense.

Emily explains how she stopped chasing remission and started appreciating her traits, saying, “you’re not broken, nothing’s wrong with you, your brain is so freaking intelligent, it’s figured out how to stay safe.” She describes using DBT and Internal Family Systems ideas to meet her younger, terrified part and tell her, “let me make it up to you, let’s go figure out how to like life.” Relationships are a big focus: her shifting relationship with her mum as she began teaching her about BPD; the painful, on‑and‑off presence of her dad; and the healing influence of her stepdad and current partner, who’s doing DBT himself to “speak her language”.

She talks about growing up with repeated experiences of abandonment, sexual assault, and rage, and how that led to an “apology tour” where she revisited old relationships to see her own role in the chaos and offer repair. One of the most powerful threads is self‑acceptance. As a therapist who openly shares her BPD diagnosis with clients, Emily also talks candidly about stigma in the profession and the risk (and relief) of being fully seen.

The tone is raw, funny in places, and deeply validating for anyone who’s ever felt “too much” or “not designed for this world.” If you’re wondering whether a different relationship with your own parts is possible, this chat might be the nudge to start treating them with a bit more compassion.

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