HAPPY BPD MONTH: GIVE FAST skill

HAPPY BPD MONTH: GIVE FAST skill

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober and emotionally regulated when relationships feel like a minefield? This bonus mini episode of Bold Beautiful Borderline zooms in on the DBT interpersonal effectiveness tool known as the GIVE FAST skill, with a focus on real-life, messy, day-to-day use. Sara breaks down GIVE and FAST as two sides of the same coin: how you treat others and how you treat yourself.

GIVE covers being gentle, showing interest, validating, and using an easy manner. FAST focuses on self-respect: being fair, avoiding unnecessary apologies, sticking to values, and staying truthful. Rather than a dry skills lesson, Sara folds in her own morning conflict with her husband, Talon. She openly shares how she jumped straight to, “Well, that's my fault. You know, you hate me.

We should get divorced,” and then uses that moment to show how she could have practised “show interest” and validation instead of mind reading and spiralling shame. It’s the kind of example that makes the acronym feel less like homework and more like something you’ll actually recognise in your own arguments.

She also gently challenges the stigma around people with BPD being labelled “manipulative”, admitting that parts of the FAST skill language like “don't take advantage of others” can feel triggering. Throughout, she keeps returning to the idea that GIVE is “how we respect other people” and FAST is “how we respect ourselves”, especially in intimate relationships where emotions run high.

The episode wraps with warmth and a bit of humour, touching on BPD Awareness Month, future interviews with men like Matt, and a celebratory nod to Pride Month. Anyone managing BPD, practising DBT, or trying to communicate better with loved ones might find themselves thinking, “Yep, that's me,” more than once. So, which part of GIVE FAST do you think you’d need most in your next tough conversation?