Why You Can't Love the Person Who Hurt YouWhy You Can't Love the Person Who Hurt You
The Call with Nancy Sabato
Nancy Sabato and Dr. Winfred Neely talk about why loving people who hurt you is so hard and how agape love, given by God, changes that struggle. The conversation touches on church hurt, boundaries, prayer, and small practical steps for showing Jesus’ love to difficult people.
16:00•14 Sept 2026
Why Loving Those Who Hurt You Feels Impossible Without Jesus
Episode Overview
- Agape love originates with God and is produced in believers’ hearts through the Holy Spirit, going beyond ordinary human affection.
- Withdrawing from church because of hurt signals a lack of commitment to love and does not solve the underlying heart issues.
- The main obstacle to loving difficult people is a selfish, sinful nature within, rather than the behaviour of others.
- Simple actions like greeting someone sincerely can affirm their value and become a first step toward expressing Jesus’ love.
- Regular prayer and keeping short accounts with God help believers gain daily grace and consistency in loving others, even when they fail.
“Love moves toward people in the name of Jesus without self-protection.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? Here, the focus is on love that doesn’t come naturally, especially when hurt runs deep. Nancy Sabato talks with Dr. Winfred Neely about why genuinely loving the people who have wounded you feels almost impossible without Jesus’ help, and why church can start to look like a "cultural social club" when that love goes missing.
This conversation is aimed at Christians who feel burned by others in church, or stuck in draining relationships at home or work. You’ll hear Dr. Neely explain agape love as a love that "originates with God" and is "produced in our hearts through the power of the spirit," very different from basic human affection or just being a nice friend.
He doesn’t minimise hurt, but he links withdrawal and constant self‑protection to a lack of commitment to love, saying, "Love moves toward people in the name of Jesus without self-protection." For anyone recovering from emotional or spiritual wounds, this episode offers small, practical steps. Dr.
Neely suggests that simply greeting a difficult person with a sincere "good morning" can be a first move towards peace, because "when you greet someone, you affirm their value and worth before the Lord." He also talks about praying for those who feel like enemies, letting God soften hard hearts rather than pretending those hearts aren’t there.
You’ll also hear about boundaries, daily grace, and the humbling reality that "the primary antagonist to the practice of agape love" isn’t other people, but our own selfish nature. Dr. Neely keeps pointing back to Jesus’ patience and sacrifice as the model and the source of strength when loving feels costly.
If you’re wondering how faith, hurt, and healing fit together, this honest chat about agape love might be a gentle nudge to ask: where could you let God’s kind of love reshape your next conversation?
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