Working through the StepsWorking through the Steps
ACA Tuesday Zoombox
Alyssa shares her experience of working the ACA Twelve Steps, from early inventories and sponsor changes to redefining her relationship with a higher power. She reflects on reparenting herself and writing self‑amends as she moves into step ten.
14:21•24 Sept 2026
Working Through the Steps and Making Amends to Yourself
Episode Overview
- Reparenting oneself and trusting a higher power can shift focus from seeking external rescue to becoming one's own loving parent.
- ACA’s inventory process includes examining what happened to you, not just what you did, which can clarify how coping mechanisms formed.
- Choosing a sponsor or fellow traveller who feels emotionally safe is crucial, especially when past religious or family experiences were critical or shaming.
- Steps six and seven involve a long, ongoing practice of surrendering control rather than trying to manage character defects alone.
- Many amends may need to be directed towards oneself, including committing to truthful self-expression, mutual relationships, and daily self-acceptance.
“A lot of my amends were going to need to be to myself.”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This share from Alyssa offers a raw look at working through the Twelve Steps as an Adult Child of Alcoholics, with a special focus on steps four through ten and how they shape daily life. Alyssa speaks from Los Angeles and marks a milestone: her first lead share in ACA after a year and a half in the programme.
She talks about arriving at the meeting after “a really overstimulating day” and feeling her “inner teenager” flare up when she feels defenceless and alone in protecting herself. That thread leads into memories of junior high betrayal, a cutting parent, and the “sword” she learned to wield with words.
You’ll hear how ACA’s approach to inventory helped: “I really appreciate in ACA how you're inventorying things that also like happened to you and not just things you did.” She walks through steps four and five, including the painful experience of a first sponsor whose judgement echoed her religious past, and the healing shift to a fellow traveller who shared a similar journey around faith and control.
A big theme is reparenting: the move from waiting for her dad or a partner to make her feel safe, to becoming her “own loving parent” with the support of a higher power. She explains how this flipped her from feeling helpless and victimised to feeling able to stand up for herself, while also unpicking a harsh, rule‑bound image of God from her religious upbringing.
The episode lands in step nine and ten with something many in ACA will relate to: realising that “a lot of my amends were going to need to be to myself.” Alyssa closes by reading her living amends, including: “I will give and receive healthy love, starting with myself.” If you’re working the steps or considering ACA, this share might help you ask: what amends do I owe to myself?
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